Grabbing Hold of Letting Go
by Calendulam
Summary: Bella has been away from home for a long time, and is only convinced to return by the impending marriage of her best friend. Jasper is scheming, Alice is worried and Edward is smitten. AH
1. My Best Sister's Wedding

**A/N: Hello! Long time, no update. This story is completely written, so I will be posting it about a chapter a week from now on. So, unlike my other stories (I suck), you won't have to wait for me to get my ass in gear to update - because anyone who reads my stories knows, I am a terrible procrastinator. Anyhoo -- on with it:**

**Thanks to Citikitti for the beta. **

Chapter 1 – My Best Sister's Wedding

_Edward_

My little sister was getting married. This was a subject she'd talked about and obsessed over since the age of four, which, incidentally, was also the first time she had watched _Cinderella_. Though my older brother and I had tried our damnedest to get her to shut up over the years – me by politely attempting to steer the conversation in another direction, him by telling her that she looked more like one of the seven dwarves than she did Cinderella (he always did mix up his fairytales) – she never did stop. Not for one moment.

And finally, after all of her planning and all of her sibling torture, it was nearly here -- her day, as she called it -- because who gave a crap about the groom? All that mattered was that my sister was happy. Luckily, her fiancé agreed with that sentiment.

But today – one week before her impending nuptials, one week before the self-proclaimed "best day of her life" -- my sister was stressed and worried. The reason for her uncharacteristic stress? The arrival of her soon-to-be groom's best man. His best man who, it just so happened wasn't a man at all, but his female best friend since childhood -- a woman whom my sister had yet to meet; a woman for whom we were now waiting at the arrivals gate at Logan Airport.

Alice was clasping my hand in a sweaty vice-grip, watching her fiancé Jasper pace back and forth in front of us, his nerves and excitement evident on his face and in his posture. I was both nervous and excited just watching him. If there was one thing I had learned about Jasper over the past three years, it was that his feelings were catching. The guy was enthusiastic to the extreme, his copious amounts of energy only surpassed by his overt charm. He was Alice's perfect match, which was exactly what she told me over the phone ten minutes after having met him while in Pennsylvania for an architectural conference.

Our older brother Emmett and his wife Rosalie were standing on Alice's right, arguing about football. I concentrated on their conversation for a moment, trying to block Alice's nervous muttering from my mind, but they were even _more_ irritating so I looked back towards Jasper.

He was checking the arrivals board for the hundredth time, and once again, having found that the 4:40 flight from Athens was on time, he resumed his pacing, the big stupid, grin that spread across his face causing Alice to gouge her French manicure into my hand.

Five minutes later Alice had yet to disengage her claws, and Jasper was searching every face that passed through the double doors in front of us for any sign of Bella.

He let loose a tremendous whoop when he finally spotted her fighting with the zipper on the bag she had slung across her body.

Her head sprang up at his boisterous greeting, and they ran to each other, just like in a scene from a cheesy film, complete with into-the-arms leaping and theatrical spinning around.

Alice's grip on my hand increased. When did she get so freakishly strong?

"Oh," she moaned dejectedly. "The photos didn't do her justice. She's even prettier than I thought!"

_Pretty_ wasn't a word I would have used to describe the creature in Jasper's arms: gorgeous, perfect, angelic, Goddess -- any of those would have been more appropriate.

My sister was looking at me reproachfully; she had been hoping for a sympathetic ear and all I was doing was confirming her insecurities. "Yeah, she's certainly beautiful," came out of my mouth. I hadn't meant to say it; I had _meant_ to say something along the lines of "she's all right", or "not too shabby." I tried very hard to look remorseful.

Alice's worried eyes swung back towards her fiancé and his best friend.

"God, look at her boobs," she continued in a melancholy tone. "She has amazing boobs."

I didn't want to objectify the girl, but Alice had told me to look. And she was right of course; they were perfectly round and perky and jabbing into Jasper as he swung her about. "Uh-huh… amazing boobs…" I cleared my throat, embarrassed.

Alice smacked me hard in the side. "Edward! Not helping!" she scolded in a loud whisper.

"You _told_ me to look!" I tore my eyes away from perky boobs and brown hair to look down at my sister. "Al, seriously, what's gotten into you? You're being silly."

I heard Jasper's hearty laugh, followed by a deliciously low, rumbling chuckle. _Whisky voice_. My eyes snapped towards the, er, stimulating sound. I had always been a sucker for a voice like that.

"She's funny, too. Just look at him laugh!"

"Alice, you already knew she was funny. We've all heard Jasper's Bella stories. It doesn't mean anything. This isn't like you; it's freaking me out, quite frankly. You've just got to trust Jasper. Don't you trust Jasper?"

She sighed heavily. "Of course I do, but… but look at how she holds onto him, Edward. What if she tries to pull a Julia Roberts on me? What then?"

The saddest part wasn't that Alice was relying on movies to construct theories on male/female friendships so much as it was the fact that I knew exactly to what she was referring.

"She's not going to pull a Julia Roberts on you, sis. Jasper is not the kind of guy who's friends with Julia Roberts, now, is he?"

"I suppose you're right," she muttered, but she didn't sound as if she truly believed it. "Oh God, here she comes. She's going to hate me."

I rolled my eyes. No one had ever hated Alice before in her entire perky little life, and I was sure that this (gorgeous, sexy, luscious) best friend of Jasper's would be no different.

I heard her voice as they drew nearer – I was right, she _did_ have a whisky voice. It was low and gravely and, fuck me, so damn sexy. She was laughing again at something Jasper had said.

"I've missed you, Globe Trotter," he said with a grin.

"What, do I play choreographed basketball now?" She started humming the Harlem Globetrotters theme music and pretended to keep the ball away from Jasper. Alice shot me a nasty glare when I erupted into laughter along with him.

Jasper ruffled her hair playfully and she ducked under his arm. "No, I was referring to the fact that you have been traipsing around the globe with no thought for the suffering of your dear friends at home."

She studied her hands in mock boredom. "I am very revered and important; I have no time for the likes of you."

Jasper snorted and grabbed the hand she'd been studying. "Well, Ms. Revered and Important, you have dirt under your fingernails."

"Jazz, I'm an archaeologist; I _always_ have dirt under my fingernails."

"Pssh, you had dirt nails before you even started grade school."

She shrugged and pushed Jasper away with a grin. "Fair deuce."

He placed his hand on the small of her back and turned her in our direction. "Well, Bella, this lovely lady right here is my Alice."

Alice finally released me from her death grip and stepped forward. Bella smiled brightly. "It's so great to finally meet you, Alice," she said, and held out a hand for my sister to shake. But, Alice being Alice, she forwent this common introductory courtesy and flung her little arms around Bella's neck.

"I can't believe I'm finally meeting you either! I feel like I know you already with how much Jasper talks about you."

Bella's eyes were comically wide; she looked well out of her element. She patted Alice's back while my sister continued to squeeze her and gush. "You're so pretty! The way Jas talks about you, you'd think you were a guy! Oh, we're going to have so much fun…"

I looked over at Jasper to find a mischievous grin on his face. He knew exactly how uncomfortable his best friend was, and he was loving it.

If no one else was going to come to her rescue… "Alice, okay now. Disengage. You're squeezing the life right out of her. Seriously, her eyeballs look about ready to pop out of her head."

I pulled Alice's arms down from around Bella's neck and they stepped apart. Bella was blushing and attempting to smile at Alice, but she still looked a little freaked out.

"Oh, Edward, don't be silly," Alice scoffed.

Jasper cleared his throat and Bella turned to face him. I couldn't see the look on her face, but Jasper was trying his damnedest to hold in a laugh. "Bell, this is Edward, Alice's brother," he said, motioning to me.

Bella kept her back to me for a moment, she and Jasper seemed to be engaged in a silent conversation that he found quite amusing. She finally turned and smiled at me, holding out a hand.

She glanced down at her offered hand with a smirk. "Unless _you_ want to have a turn molesting me, too."

_Very_ tempting. "Umm…" I laughed. "I think I'll stick to the social niceties for the time being. But thanks for the offer all the same." I reached out a hand and captured her small one in it as she laughed.

She stared directly into my eyes for a moment, before wrenching her gaze away. "And who are these lovely, tall people?" she asked, turning towards Emmett and Rosalie.

As Alice was making the introductions, I barely made out Bella whispering to Jasper between clenched teeth, "I hate you _so_ much." He patted her on the back with a quiet chuckle, neither of them having taken their eyes off of my brother and his wife throughout the entire exchange.

"Okay," Jasper said, rubbing his hands together, "let's get your luggage and get out of here. We're going to be smack in the middle of rush hour as it is."

We collected Bella's luggage – Alice was floored that she had only one suitcase – and headed to Emmett's massive Jeep.

I climbed in the back, expecting Alice to join me in order to allow Jasper and Bella time to catch up, but after a few seconds of fumbling and dirty looks passing between them, Jasper forcibly pushed Bella onto the seat beside me, where she landed with an "oof". I held out my hand to steady her; she was slipping sideways off the seat.

"Is he always so pushy with you?" I asked her.

She looked up at me, blowing her messy brown locks out of her face with an exasperated huff. "He's _such_ a bastard," she replied. "I hope he hasn't conned you into thinking he's a good guy."

Jasper twisted in his seat to grace her with a wide grin. "I've missed you too, Ding Dong."

She gave him the finger and he began to cackle.

"So, Bella," I said, "how long will you be in town?"

"Two weeks. I'm flying back to Athens after the wedding."

Jasper once again turned around in his seat, but this time he wasn't smiling.

"Don't you say a word," she warned him. "I told you that was the deal. I have work that needs to be done."

"Don't you always."

Bella turned her head abruptly to stare out the window. I could hear her teeth grinding together.

Alice's large eyes met mine; she was silently pleading with me to do something.

I widened my own eyes in response and shrugged my shoulders infinitesimally; I had no idea what to say.

"Bella, your dress fitting is tomorrow – I can't wait until you see it! I designed it myself. I thought it would be difficult, but buildings, dresses, it's really not that different."

Bella turned her eyes towards my sister's worried ones. "I'm sure it'll be lovely, Alice. Especially if that house you designed for the Brazilian model is anything to go by. Jasper sent me pictures."

"Thanks! That was a personal best. It matches the tuxes – the dress, not the house," she giggled nervously. "I can't really describe it; you have to see it in person."

Bella smiled and nodded her head, then yawned hugely. She clapped a hand over her mouth and looked from me to Alice, her cheeks flushed. "Sorry, it was a very long flight."

"Well, it looks like you're going to have plenty of time for a nap," Emmett bellowed from up front as he merged into traffic on the interstate and came to a dead stop. It was backed up as far as the eye could see. We all settled into our respective seats, sighing.

Thirty minutes later we began moving smoothly again. I stared morosely out the window – I was hoping to be trapped in the Jeep for a little longer. Bella had heeded Emmett's advice to nap and her head was currently resting on my shoulder as she snoozed peacefully. She had originally dozed off leaning against the window, but after much tossing, turning and muttering, she had landed on me.

Jasper laughed at my startled expression. "Poke me if she says anything funny. Or potentially embarrassing," he added as an afterthought.

_If she says anything? _I looked down into her face; her full lips were pushed out in an adorable pout and her brow was furrowed.

"But I don't _like_ cabbage, Edward," she whined.

Jasper burst out laughing.

I should have been amused, but I was far too taken aback by the feelings that coursed through me upon hearing my name on her sweet lips for the first time. I scolded myself for even recognising the fact that it was the first time she had uttered my name; when had I become a teenaged girl?

Emmett pulled into my parents' driveway and turned off the engine. I leaned my head down to whisper in Bella's ear that it was time to wake up, when Jasper poked her ungraciously in the side of the head.

"Wake up, Ding Dong. Jesus Christ, you're drooling all over Edward."

Her head snapped up, face reddening. She began wiping at her mouth with the back of her hand. "Oh shit, did I? I'm so sorry." She looked over at me, her eyes apologetic.

I had just opened my mouth to contradict Jasper's claim when he interrupted me again.

"I think you were having one of your _dreams_," he said, stressing the last word.

She widened her eyes, and then closed them, rubbing her hand through her dishevelled hair and over her face. She let out a low, gravelly sound before standing up and exciting the Jeep on shaky legs.

I stared after her with longing. Jasper was smirking at me when I turned towards him. He reached back and clapped me on the arm. "Come on, man. Let's go in."

~*~

Dinner was a quiet affair, and I somehow found myself seated next to Bella again, not that I was complaining. Everything about her was fascinating to me – from the stories of her nomadic life to the simplest mannerism. I caught myself watching her jaw as she chewed, the long column of her throat as she swallowed her wine.

My parents both loved her – asking question after question about the digs she had been on, the things she had seen. My father was especially taken with her, having a vast knowledge of and interest in anthropology.

After dinner my brother suggested that we all watch a movie. There was a Godzilla marathon on the monster channel, which began a heated discussion on the attributes of each Godzilla incarnation – something that both Jasper and Bella were very passionate about.

"Godzilla vs. Mothra? Pssh! Everyone knows Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla is far superior."

"Whatever, Jasper. How many times are we going to have this argument when you know I'll win?"

"You don't win if your opponent doesn't agree with you."

"It's a victory if you make all of the most valid points, which I do. 'Bitch please, it's way cooler' does not a valid argument make."

Emmett was grinning from ear to ear; he rarely had anyone to discuss monster movies with. "Why don't we just watch them both and put it to a vote?" he suggested. "Then you guys can settle it once and for all."

"Great idea, since I will win," Jasper said with a smirk at Bella.

"You wish," she retorted, and popped a bite of cheesecake into her mouth.

"But first I want to play you something; I learned a new song."

Alice groaned. Jasper's banjo was the bane of her existence.

"Not a fan of the banjo?" Bella asked her. "Sorry about that – it's sort of my fault."

"How is it _your _fault?" I asked, laughing at the long-suffering expression on my sister's face.

"The first summer Bella and I spent apart, we each set forth a challenge for the other. Kind of a contest," Jasper explained. "Mine was to learn to play the banjo. I challenged Bella to ace the Thigh Master." He laughed in remembrance.

"What happened?" I asked, directing my question at Bella; her face was turning that delicious colour of red again.

"Well, Jasper learned to play the banjo... and I dislocated my kneecap."

I cringed. "Ouch."

"Yeah, I'm not the most coordinated person in the world. Which was why Jasper chose the Thigh Master in the first place. He knew he would win."

"I am a devious man," Jasper agreed, giving Bella a significant look. She quirked an eyebrow at him, but said nothing.

"But look at you now, Bells! You've got muscular thighs better than a Thigh Master could tone, and look at those pipes!" he reached over and grabbed her arm, wrapping his fingers around the upper portion as she flexed the muscles. "Those are pretty impressive for a former string bean."

"It's from lifting the lids off of sarcophagi," she said, before laughing at the collection of impressed faces surrounding her. "Not really. I like to pretend I'm Indiana Jones, but unfortunately I'm not that exciting."

~*~

My seating arrangement luck unfortunately didn't hold out – Bella squeezed in beside Jasper on the couch as soon as we all settled in the living room for the Godzilla marathon. I took a nearby loveseat with a sigh.

We munched popcorn and drank more wine through _Mothra vs. Godzilla_ and _Godzilla Raids Again_. Alice and Jasper were becoming more amorous with each mouthful of wine that my sister consumed. I could see Bella eyeing them with a look of repugnance. I caught her eye and crinkled my nose. She laughed, then grabbed her wine glass and moved over to sit next to me.

"It's like watching your parents make out, isn't it?" she whispered. "I could hear their tongues slurping around. Gross." I laughed as she shuddered.

Jasper sat up straight when the opening titles of _Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla_ flashed across the screen. "Now _this_ is a Godzilla movie."

Bella rolled her eyes and tucked her feet up under her, the movement causing her to shift closer to me; she smelled divine.

I tried vainly to pay attention to the movie and not stare at Bella's profile in the blue glow of the television. After a short while – I couldn't be sure how much time passed as I studied her – she threw her head back against the loveseat with a groan, then rolled it to the side until she was facing me. She looked irritated. I cursed myself – had she noticed my rapt attention was not focused on the horrible film, but entirely on her? Was she going to tell me off?

"Well, you've certainly got my vote," I said, blurting out the first thing that came to me, hoping to make it seem as if I had indeed been watching the movie.

"Hmm?" she asked lazily. She looked sleepy, her eyes heavy with exhaustion and alcohol.

"This one is terrible – Godzilla is hardly even in it."

She visibly perked up. "I know! It's the worst one!"

"I don't know," I pretended to muse. "I've got some pretty strong feelings about _King Kong vs. Godzilla_," I teased.

She giggled; she sounded tipsy from the wine. Hell, I felt a little drunk myself.

"Edward –" _Ugh, my name again_. I wanted to ask her to repeat it; I loved the way she pronounced it, the way her mouth moved around the word. "I'm sorry about falling asleep on you in the car. I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable."

"Of course you didn't." _At least not in an unpleasant way. _"I didn't mind even a little bit. I rather liked it, if I'm being truthful."

I flashed her a grin and she giggled again, slapping me playfully on the chest.

"But I _drooled_ on you." She made a disgusted face.

"No you didn't; Jasper was lying to embarrass you. You were perfect."

She looked away shyly.

"All you did was mumble about cabbage, and that was adorable."

"Oh, God." Her large eyes flashed back towards me, looking mortified. "I didn't say anything else, did I?"

I shook my head. "Was there something specific that's worrying you?"

"No… well, yes. It's just that Jasper said I was having one of my dreams, and I thought he meant… like, a _dream_ dream, you know?" Her face was so flushed I swear I could feel the heat radiating from her skin.

_Dream_ dream – what was she… Oh,_ dream_ dream. I started to laugh. "Um, no, not one of _those_ dreams. Not unless they sometimes involve cabbage, or me, or you informing me that you don't like it."

"That I, er, don't like it…" she stuttered. "Oh, _cabbage_, right. Yeah, I really, really hate cabbage. Yuck." She looked so adorably flustered. "Well, I should probably go to bed. Try to get some sleep, adjust to the time zone and all that…"

I tried not to sound as disappointed as I felt. "Right. I can show you to the guest room if you'd like. Jasper put your things in there earlier."

Bella nodded and with a smile, followed me up the stairs.

***

**Please let me know what you think of this new one; I'd appreciate the feedback ever so much. :) **


	2. Alice in the Spa with the Hot Wax

**I own nothing. Thanks again to the lovely Citikitti for the beta. **

**~*~**

Chapter 2 - Alice in the Spa with the Hot Wax

_Bella_

I woke up in an unfamiliar room. It was posh and modern, decorated entirely in black and white with highly polished wooden floors. I was enfolded in a luxurious duvet and surrounded by dozens of fluffy white pillows of different shapes and sizes. The sheets felt like velvet against the bare skin of my legs; they weren't the paper-thin covers I had grown used to after all of my time spent travelling. This was certainly not my dingy little dwelling outside of Thebes.

I lay there in the gargantuan bed surrounded by all of the sumptuous fabrics and tried not to panic. Where the hell was I? My mouth was dry and my head was pounding a steady rhythm that I recognised as a consequence of drinking too much wine.

I glanced around the room once more and spied half a dozen framed photographs on a vanity against the far wall. I stumbled out of bed – the damn thing was a _lot_ higher off the ground than I had suspected – and blundered over for a closer look.

The same three faces were repeated over and over in the gilded frames: a large, curly-haired, dimpled man with dark blue eyes; a tiny, spiky-haired girl with the very same eyes as the giant; and him – the green-eyed, auburn-haired, high-cheekboned hot fucking bitch with that please-lick-me jaw and that smooth, sexy voice. _Edward._

Goddamn that Jasper. These were his future in-laws and he was trying to use them in a tactical manoeuvre to keep me here in Boston. Correction – he was trying to use _him_.

How many stories about the perfect Edward had he told me over the past year? How many pictures had he sent me of the beautiful Cullen family? How many times had he taunted me about Edward being single and "just my type"? How the hell did Jasper know what my type was anyway? I didn't even know myself!

I'd certainly had my fair share of dates, but I'd only had one truly serious relationship. To say that it hadn't turned out well would be the understatement of the century.

I picked up a framed photo of Edward wearing a perfectly fitted pinstriped suit. He was glancing at something to the right of the person holding the camera, smiling sheepishly and running a hand through his messy locks. The sun was hitting his hair just so, causing all of the red and golden strands to shine; it was so beautiful. _He_ was so beautiful.

There was a brisk rapping on the bedroom door. I tried to place the picture back on the vanity but I fumbled, causing it to crash into the other frames; they all went down like dominoes.

I turned around quickly, strategically placing myself in front of the mess of pictures on the tabletop just as Alice poked her head around the door.

"Oh good, you're up," she said brightly, coming fully into the room. "I thought maybe we could hang out a bit before the dress fitting, just the two of us…" She trailed off, sounding unsure.

I realised I'd been standing there staring at her without saying a word. I was too worried about her noticing that I had been meddling with the pictures to even attempt a polite greeting.

I tried to smile. "That sounds great, Alice. I've been wanting to hang out with you for ages."

Alice's big, blue eyes shone with happiness at my statement. She seemed easy enough to please, something I would never have guessed by looking at her. Her clothing, makeup and perfectly coiffed 'do screamed "princess", but I knew Jasper had better taste than that.

Three hours later I found myself up to my neck in bubbling mud, my face coated in something sticky and cloyingly sweet smelling. The bonding time Alice had planned was just your average torture: dripped on by hot wax, encased in mud, smacked around by freakishly large-handed women, having every inch of your face squeezed until you could feel your heart beating in each individual pore. It was _great_. Though I may not have been enjoying her choice of activity, I had to admit – begrudgingly – that I _did_ like Alice. She was spunky and intelligent and fun – I could certainly see how Jasper had fallen for her so definitively and so quickly.

"So… Jasper's been acting kind of strange," she said in a purposefully offhand tone.

"He does that," I replied noncommittally. If she had something to say, she was going to have to come right out and say it. I wasn't the beating around the bush kind of girl. Not anymore.

"Hmmm…." she mumbled, studying the side of the tub. "Do you think… well, that Jasper has any reason not to want you and I to be alone together?"

Well, _that_ was not what I was expecting.

"No," I said, furrowing my brow in confusion. "Why do you think that?"

She looked away from the bubbling mud and into my eyes. She seemed upset; her eyes were glassy.

"Well, first the airport – he insisted Edward come with us. I was going to drive, but he made him come along, then Em and Rose decided they wanted to come too, so he was all 'let's take the Jeep'. And then there was this morning – he seemed kind of pissed that I invited you out with me. He said he wanted to take me out for brunch, but that would have left you alone all morning. Why would he want to do that?"

Oh Jasper. Tricksy little Jasper.

"Was anyone else going to be hanging around the house this morning, Alice?"

She bit her lip and scrunched up her brow. "Um… probably just Edward. He's on vacation, so he's usually there. Why?"

Exactly what I suspected. Did he think a morning alone together and Edward and I would leap naked into each other's arms? I pondered that image for a moment… it wasn't exactly unpleasant…

"Bella?"

"Oh, sorry," I mumbled. She was staring at me expectantly. "Right, Jasper. Don't worry, Alice, it has nothing to do with you and me. I'm pretty sure I know what he's up to; just ignore him and go about your business as usual. He'll give up eventually."

She seemed somewhat placated, but there was still the vestiges of a question in her eyes as she let them fall closed, resting her head against the back of the tub.

Would Jasper give up? He was a persistent little a-hole when he really wanted something. _Are you sure you want him to give up?_ asked a little voice in my head. Where had that come from? I was going back to Greece. I didn't belong here anymore, no matter how much I missed Jasper, no matter how welcoming everyone was, no matter how badly my sex-starved body wanted to jump Edward Cullen. Hell, if I really wanted to I could jump him and _still_ go back to Greece; why did Jasper think he could convince me to stay? Did the guy have a magical, solid gold cock or something?

~*~

After the spa we drove into town to have my dress fitted. Alice had been right; it was the most lovely and surprising dress I had ever seen. It was long, black and fitted, but with an open area over the bust with inlaid silk in a gorgeous pattern of white and varying shades of grey which Alice informed me was an exact match to the vests that would be worn by the groomsmen. It needed to be taken out a bit at the bust, but otherwise fit me perfectly. Alice had looked at dozens of photos of me and watched all of the videos I had sent Jasper from abroad so she could approximate my size.

Her care and attention to detail was astounding. As I stood staring at my reflection I found myself choking back tears. Alice was so welcoming, going out of her way to make things perfect for me when it was _her_ wedding. And I felt beautiful; it had been so long since I had any reason or inclination to make myself look so feminine.

"You like it?" she asked.

I nodded my head, afraid that if I opened my mouth to speak the tears would begin to flow. She must have seen them shining in my eyes anyway, because she flung herself on me, shedding a few of her own.

"I'm so glad you approve," she sniffed. I was pretty sure she wasn't talking about the dress.

~*~

When we got back to the house I was given a bikini and strict instructions to soften my tan lines. My t-shirt tan didn't go so well with the sleeveless dress. Alice and Jasper were headed back into town to have a meeting with the minister and finalise plans with the caterers, so I grabbed a book and went out to lounge by the pool.

I put my book down after just a few minutes – it was too hot to concentrate. Sweat was pooling between my breasts and in my lower back. I was about to adjust Alice's too-small top and surreptitiously wipe away my boob sweat at the same time, when I heard _his_ voice.

"Well. Hello, Bella." _Fucking hell_. And now I wasn't only wet from the sweat. How was it possible to bring about such a reaction with three short words? It wasn't fair. Did he know how he affected us mere mortals?

"You look hot," he said.

What in the… "Wha-?"

He smirked. Oh he knew. Bastard.

"The sun is really hot today. You should go for a dip." He motioned towards the serene turquoise water of the pool; it did look inviting. A drop of boob sweat trickled down my cleavage and landed on the bottom of the bikini top.

I forced myself to answer instead of sitting gawping at him like an idiot. He already looked smug enough; he didn't need to know to what degree he was affecting me. "I'll take that into consideration."

He smiled and stood there for a moment, appearing to consider me. I suddenly felt rather exposed in Alice's too-small bathing suit. I picked my book back up and used it to conceal some of, er, _me_ from view. My face was flaming – he made me blush like a 16 year-old dork talking to the Homecoming King. Hell, I had once _been_ that dork, but I had thought I'd put her to rest years ago. I forced her back down.

Edward settled in the seat beside me before speaking again. "That outfit doesn't seem very you," he said.

"That's because it belongs to your sister. She told me I needed to soften my tan lines for the tuxedo dress." I stared down at my arms with a scowl. My gaze travelled from there to my traitorous, sweaty boobs. They were the cause of possibly many more dress fittings within the next week. "Which needs to be taken out, apparently," I muttered, "since 'my boobs in the pictures looked smaller than they actually are'." I looked up, embarrassed. "That's a direct quote, by the way."

Edward chuckled. "Sounds like her." He settled back into his lounger, stretching out his long legs in front of him. "Speaking of Alice, how did you fare today? Was she on her best behaviour?"

"Hmm… other than her insisting I have nearly every hair on my body ripped out via hot wax, we got along just fine. Why do you ask?"

He chuckled again. "I was worried she was going to corner you and submit you to a questioning so thorough it would put the Spanish Inquisition to shame, actually."

"Ah," I laughed. "She wants some good dirt on Jasper. Well, she'll have to wait until my speech for that." I gave him a flirtatious wink and he grinned. What had gotten into me?

"No, not exactly dirt on Jasper. More like dirt on Jasper and _you_. I'm afraid my sister is envisioning _My Best Friend's Wedding_ scenarios."

Oh crap. _That's_ why she had looked that way after I told her to ignore Jasper's shenanigans. I shouldn't have been surprised – every girl he had ever dated had looked upon me as a rival. But this was _Alice_. Jasper adored her beyond all reason; surely she realised that! "But that's just silly. The thought of Jasper like that…" I pulled a face and Edward laughed. "I'll have a talk with her."

"Just don't tell her I said anything. She's vicious, and a lot stronger than she looks. She's taken Emmett down before." I broke up laughing at the mental picture that conjured – Edward was nearly twice her size, let alone Emmett. "I can't say I blame her for being a tad worried, though," he continued, "you _are_ unbelievably beautiful."

I snorted and he raised his eyebrows as if daring me to challenge his claim. Was he flirting with me? It sure seemed that way. I wondered if I could successfully flirt back – it had been an embarrassingly long time.

"Well, then," I told him with a smile, "you and I will just have to make out to set her mind at ease." Did I sound ridiculous? I _felt_ a little ridiculous, as well as a little bit naughty and a lot turned on. Oh well, if it all went to hell I could blame my odd behaviour on sunstroke.

A low, sensual laugh escaped his lips. "But she isn't even here to see us," he answered with a teasing grin.

_Oh yes, he was playing along._ "Noticed that did you? Damn." I smirked at him and placed my sunglasses on my face. I focused my eyes on the book in my hands, but I was paying absolutely no attention to the words on the page. I felt energised, alive, powerful; I didn't remember this being so fun.

After a moment of silence I closed my eyes and settled further into the lounger. They flew open again at the feel of Edward's hand against the side of my neck.

"You know," he said quietly, "you're only creating more tan lines with these little straps here." He tugged on the strings holding up my barely-there top. "I don't know the cut of the dress, but it's better to be safe than to invoke the wrath of Alice, isn't it?"

He grinned at me for a moment, and when I made no objection, he slid his hand around behind my neck and pulled the string, causing the straps to fall down into my cleavage.

"Oops, can't be having any tan lines there, either." His hand stretched out, his long, lithe fingers pulling the strips of fabric out from between my breasts.

"Edward!" Esme's voice scolded from the patio. "Be respectful!"

His eyes met mine, round as saucers, and his hand paused mid boob skim. Esme set a tray down loudly on the table beside me, but I didn't look over to see what it contained. I didn't look away from Edward's wide eyes, nor he mine. It seemed safer that way.

"Really," she continued to mutter, "I never thought I would have to say that to _you_. You're behaving like your brother." She clucked her tongue reprovingly once more before venturing back inside the house.

Edward snapped his hand away from my chest as if he'd been burned. "I…er…I didn't mean to…" He ran his traitor hand through his messy locks and looked towards the pool, red-faced.

And me? I burst out laughing. I couldn't help myself, I had been holding it in since Esme had initially said his name, and now it came pouring out of my mouth unbidden.

"I'm glad that amused you," he said petulantly, but he was grinning too.

"Is that the same tone she used with you when you were a kid and she caught you with your hand in the cookie jar?"

"The very same."

"Scary."

He nodded and widened his eyes in agreement. "Indeed."

As I was rearranging my straps so as not to cause any more unwanted lines, Edward removed his shirt and sat back down next to me. I tried my damnedest not to look, but fuck, he was beautiful. I lay back and forced my eyes closed, cursing Jasper under my breath. That bastard certainly thought he had an ace in the hole with Edward, but I knew what he was planning.

I opened my eyes and snuck another look-see. Edward's eyes had drifted closed and he looked in complete contentment. The sun was glinting off his hair like in the photo in my room; I had never seen that shade on anyone before. I let my eyes travel over his flawless face, down his neck and over his chest to his belly, where the beginning of a fine trail of hair was peeking out between his hipbones, just above the waistband of his trunks. I noticed that it was the exact shade as the hair on his head. _Interesting._ I knew from that moment until I boarded the plane back to Athens, there was no way I was going to be able to look at Edward without imagining where that trail led.

I was in _so_ much trouble.

**~*~**

**Like it? Love it? Hate it? Let me know! **


	3. Jasper in the Study with the Envelope

**Once again, thanks to Citikitti for being a great beta! **

**~*~  
**

Chapter 3 – Jasper in the Study with the Envelope

_Edward_

I spent a lot of time with Bella over the next several days. The flirting continued, though it never quite escalated to the level it had poolside. I mentally cursed my mother, wondering what would have happened if we had been alone to continue our little games that day.

I found myself growing strangely attached to her. I missed her when she went back into town with Alice for another dress fitting and I was dreading the coming wedding, only because I knew just a matter of hours afterward she would be gone. I got the feeling that Jasper felt the same; he often got a contemplative look on his face when regarding Bella, which usually turned brooding after several moments. I had to fight back the urge to be jealous, though I tried to tell myself it wasn't jealousy at all, but more a fear that my sister had been right about their odd relationship and could possibly be hurt by it.

But there wasn't anything inappropriate between them exactly; they were just very close – like siblings, only they touched one another a lot and both jokingly called the other by syrupy pet names.

Bella and I had been hanging around all morning, talking and watching cheesy infomercials while everyone else went about their business. I was glad I had taken vacation time before the wedding so that I wasn't stuck rushing around trying to get everything organised up until the last minute. Alice and Jasper were both out for the morning – Alice preparing her office for her absence, and Jasper attending a meeting at the university where he taught.

Jasper returned first, something that did not surprise me in the least. Alice was an absolute control freak and the thought of leaving her business un-Aliced for weeks on end had to be eating away at her.

"Hey, Jazz!" Bella greeted him. "Did you get everything done that you needed to before the big day?" She smiled brightly but he did not return it. He actually looked sort of pissed as he tossed his briefcase on a nearby chair.

"Yes, I did," he said with unnecessary sharpness. "And as I was leaving, it was the funniest thing, I ran into Dr. Floyd – you know, head of the Archaeology Department."

The look on Bella's face told me she did indeed know this Dr. Floyd person, and she was not looking forward to whatever Jasper was about to reveal about the specifics of their conversation.

"He told me he's been playing phone tag with you for months, Bella, trying to get you to take a position on the teaching staff. He said you'd come so highly recommended that he didn't really want to look elsewhere, though you hadn't returned his last call.

"The position is apparently amazing, too, since most of the staff is nearing retirement age, you'd likely advance to Department Head in as little as five years. But he's already told you that, hasn't he?"

Bella floundered, obviously searching for a response but coming up short. I knew I should leave the room and let them have their discussion in private, but I couldn't bring myself to walk away from her when she looked so fragile.

"Funny how your main excuse not to move home is your lack of employment," Jasper all but snarled at her. "Oh, and here, he wrote you a note. Since he can't seem to get in touch with you." He thrust an envelope into Bella's hands.

She released the lip she had been worrying between her teeth. "Look, Jazz, I didn't want to –"

"You didn't want to _what_?" he spat. "Start living your life again? Stop avoiding all the people who matter, the people who love you?"

"I have _never_ avoided you," Bella snapped, her eyes flashing. Jasper rolled his eyes and she flexed her jaw, her teeth grinding together loudly. "Maybe I don't want a humdrum life here, did you ever consider that? Nine to five and being godmother to your squalling brats."

He shook his head and smiled – it wasn't Jasper's usual smile; it looked deadly, like an animal about to go in for the kill. "More like you're afraid to run into Goudry at a teacher's conference."

Bella recoiled as if he had struck her. "Fuck. You."

Jasper laughed without an ounce of humour. "What I'd like to know is, when did you become such a coward? The Bella I grew up with, she was fierce, a force to be reckoned with. The woman before me now is a mockery of her – hiding out in little huts, digging up trinkets instead of facing up to her mistakes."

He shook his head when she didn't answer, then turned abruptly and left the room.

Bella's breathing was laboured, her knuckles turning white as she clutched the envelope. I placed my hand on her arm, trying to calm her down, letting her know I was there if she needed me. "Hey," I whispered.

She looked over and tried to smile. Her eyes were glassy with unshed tears. "We don't mean it," she said in a watery voice. She sounded like she was trying to convince herself rather than me.

"I know. I've said things I didn't mean to Al and Emmett hundreds of times. It'll be okay."

Bella nodded absentmindedly. "He's right though. He's right." She looked up into my eyes; her chin was quivering and one lone tear streaked down her left cheek. "I _am_ avoiding. I avoid. But not him. Never him."

She sucked in a deep breath and waved a hand in front of her eyes to stave off the tears. I rubbed her arm reassuringly. "You can talk to me if you'd like."

She gave me another watery smile and nodded her head. "It's mostly my parents he means. I sound terrible, admitting that I avoid my own parents, that I've been actively doing so for years. They just – they love me, but they don't really _get_ me, you know?

"My dad is ridiculously over-protective, even now that I'm no longer a child. And even though I know that he's proud of me, of my accomplishments, I also know he would like nothing better than for me to move back to his small town and marry the son of his best friend, whom he's been trying to shove down my throat since I grew boobs." She grinned and rolled her eyes. I smiled back and continued to rub my thumb up and down her forearm.

"And then there's my mother." Bella gave a wobbly laugh. "She is quite the piece of work. She loves me – she never lets me forget it – but I get so tired of listening to her talk me up to her friends. 'My Bella is so smart, she has her priorities straight, unlike most women her age. Career first, never rely on a man, never let yourself be ruined by a man. My Bella would never let herself fall into a trap like that'." She paused for a moment and laughed again, but it was a hollow sound, completely devoid of feeling. "Of course, what dear, loopy Renee doesn't know, is that a man was the very reason 'her Bella' ran away in the first place."

Ah – that explained her reaction to this Goudry person Jasper had mentioned. She focused her eyes on the arm of the sofa, trailing her fingers slowly back and forth over the pattern.

"I never thought I would be that girl. The one stupid enough, naïve enough to fall into something like that. The girl who sleeps with her professor – it's such a cliché. Before I'd met him, before I'd been seduced by his knowledge and intelligence, his fucking smoking jackets, I would have scoffed at the very idea of doing something so foolish."

"You were young," I tried to reassure her. "It wasn't really your fault."

She looked up from her careful study of the sofa and into my face. "I know. He used me. Jasper even told me was doing it at the time, but I didn't listen. But don't feel too sorry for me yet; it gets worse."

She took a deep breath and scrubbed her hands harshly over her face.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." _Please want to._ "But I'm here if you do, and I won't judge."

"I know. It would be kind of nice to get off my chest to tell you the truth. No one knows about it but Jasper, besides him. And her too, I suppose." She sighed again and began to worry her lip between her teeth.

"I met him first semester of my third year – he was teaching my _Osteology for Archaeologists_ course – exciting, I know." She grinned up at me. "I spoke up in class, asked a lot of questions, wrote good papers; he took an immediate liking to me. Soon enough he started asking me to stay after class to help him with special projects and with first year anthropology students' work. We went for dinner; I accompanied him to lectures. Of course, this was all under the guise of a student/teacher relationship, but it quickly became more than that.

"It went on all through that year and into my fourth. I even stayed to work with him as a summer job in between. About a month before the end of my final term he broke it off out of the blue one day with no explanation.

"I was crushed. I'd sworn up and down -- both to Jasper and myself -- that I was madly in love with him. I think a lot of that was me trying to legitimise what I was doing, I don't know. I got really depressed, stopped going to class, stopped getting out of bed. Jasper was ready to off me, I swear, but he never once said 'I told you so'.

"A couple weeks later Jasper dragged me out of the house to go for coffee, and that's when I saw them. He was with some woman, all cuddly and laughing. Jasper tried to pull me out of the shop, but I wasn't having that. I walked up to them and demanded to know who she was. She informed me in no uncertain terms that she was his wife, and who the fuck was I? Apparently she had been out of the country for an extended period of time due to her mother's ill health.

"_Two years_. Two years and I never knew. I felt so stupid and used. Hell, I _was_ stupid and used. I saw him the next day and he had the nerve to pull me aside and berate me for being indiscreet; he treated me like I was just another student, nothing special. That's when I realised I had been an idiot and I stopped wallowing. I got my degree, and the moment the semester was over I signed up for a dig in Turkey.

"I travelled around, different countries, digs and research. I took classes by correspondence, studied at some schools abroad, I wrote my thesis. I came home once, about four years ago, and I ran into her – Mrs. Anthropology Professor. She called me a whore and told me to stay away from her husband."

Bella broke off her monologue for a moment and laughed hollowly again, shaking her head. "I didn't bother to inform her that at the time I hadn't even known of her existence. She wouldn't have believed me anyway, so why hurt her further with the truth about him?

"And so I ran away again, back overseas. I've been there ever since. Still would be if not for Jasper's nuptials. He had to fight with me to get me to come at all, but I knew I'd never forgive myself if I didn't. Even if it meant running into one of _them_. He's teaching around here now. Jasper's seen him."

Poor Bella. How long had she been feeling guilty over something that wasn't her fault? "He can hardly be angry when he was the adult in the situation, and as far as his wife goes, her blaming you is ridiculous. It's probably the only way she can sleep next to him at night, laying the blame on you. If we see either one of them I'll give them a piece of my mind, don't you worry."

That earned me a soft giggle. "Or you could step in front of me and shield me from view," she suggested. She took a deep breath and laid her head on the back of the sofa. "So…"

"So."

Bella giggled again, a little louder this time. "So basically I'm a big ol' mess. Are you running away screaming yet?"

"You are not a big ol' mess. And no, none of that sounds even remotely scary enough to make me run screaming from _you_. Got anything better?"

"Hmm," she appeared to muse. "Well, I haven't had sex in so long I've probably regrown my hymen."

That was… not what I was expecting. I felt my eyebrows shoot up towards my hairline. Her saying that… it meant that she was interested, did it not? She had seemed to be over the last few days, but… _wow_. I tried to gather myself so I could respond with some measure of cool.

"Really? Well then, I promise to be very gentle," I said in a teasing voice, though I wasn't especially teasing.

"Ha. Ha." Her attempt at derision was all but ruined when she gulped between each ha.

"You look worried," I said with a smirk.

"No, no…" she stuttered. "Just… what brought this on?"

"What, have I not been flirting shamelessly with you since the moment we met?"

She grinned at me and leaned into my side, lacing her arm through the crook of mine. "Thanks, Edward," she whispered. "Thanks for listening."

"Anytime."

We settled back in to watch old episodes of Star Trek and recommence our flirting. Time flew and soon everyone but my parents had returned to the house. The noise was encroaching on my conversation with Bella, and I found myself wishing we were in town at my condo rather than here surrounded by my siblings and their spouses.

Alice charged down the stairs with a pad of paper and a pen, asking everyone what they wanted for dinner; she was ordering takeout from a local Italian restaurant. When she had everything written down and called in, she handed me the list and her credit card.

"Jasper told me to send the two of you," she said with a shrug. "Is that okay?"

Bella snorted and took the paper from my hands. "Whatever Jasper wants," she said.

She was still wearing a slightly amused, slightly irritated expression as we walked out to my car. "What?" I asked.

"Edward, you know what he's doing, right? Jasper."

_Er… no._ I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders, opening her door and walking over to the driver's side to get in.

Bella settled into the seat and snapped on her seatbelt. "He's using you," she continued. "Making you come to the airport, leaving us alone together as much as possible. He's trying to give me a reason to want to stay."

_Huh?_ I stared at my hands for a moment before remembering that I needed to put the key in the ignition. "But why would he… why me?"

Bella blushed deeply and studied her own hands for a moment before answering. "You make me blush," she sighed. "I thought I had nipped that old habit in the bud."

I raised my eyebrows, waiting for the explanation she was quite obviously avoiding. She sighed again.

"This is so embarrassing," she finally said, covering her pink face with her hands.

I had to look away to begin down my parents' long driveway.

"Okay, so – a little over a year ago, Jasper sent me these photos from some fancy dress fundraiser that you guys all went to -- pictures of him and Alice, Emmett and Rosalie, your parents, you. I may have commented about your, well, obvious charms, and Jazz may have sent me more pictures of you in, ah… various attire."

I couldn't keep the grin from spreading across my face, even though poor Bella was looking mortified. "Various attire?" I asked.

She made an exasperated groaning sound and buried her head in her hands again. "There may have been some pool lounging involved," she admitted. "Anyway, Jasper started bringing you up in more of his e-mails, telling stories about you, talking you up. You see, it had been a long time since I had noticed... paid much attention to that sort of thing…well, a man, and Jasper got excited, thought it meant more than it did. And then…well…I made the mistake of telling him about the dream I had."

_What now?_ I raised an eyebrow and looked over at her small frame nestled into the seat. "A dream?"

"Ugh… I can't believe I'm telling you this. I can't believe I told Jasper. It was the damn Ouzo; never e-mail drunk, that's my new rule to live by."

"So… this dream," I prompted, when she seemed to have stopped with the story just as it was beginning to get really interesting.

"Dreams actually. The recurring kind."

"And what exactly did these dreams entail? I was in them?"

She threw her head back against the headrest and stared at the ceiling for a brief moment before looking back in my direction. "In them, in me. Could we please drop this? I'll die of humiliation if made to give details."

_In me?_ God, but I wanted details.

"Well, we certainly wouldn't want that." I stared into her expressive brown eyes; her breathing picked up and she began to chew on her bottom lip, something she did, I had come to realise, when she was nervous or uncomfortable.

She wrenched away from my gaze, looking out the side window. "Nope. So, anyway," she continued, "Jasper got even worse after that, telling me how awesome you are all the time, how _single_ you are. 'He's an actual doctor, Bella, not a fake one like you and I'."

I laughed. "Well, I'm a psychiatrist. Some people would probably argue that I'm not a doctor at all."

"I do know a few of those people," she laughed. "Anyway... Jasper, well, he's been doing his damnedest to set us up since I got here. I just thought you ought to know."

She continued to worry her lip between her teeth as she looked back towards me, awaiting my response.

Did she seriously think I was going to condemn Jasper for this? Hell, I wanted to buy the guy a drink… or a car.

"Look, Bella, you are the most intriguing, beautiful, intelligent, funny, honest woman I have ever had the good fortune to meet, and I would like nothing better than to get to know you. As far as what Jasper has planned, I could care less. I'm just glad he brought us together, because I think this –" I gestured between the two of us, "could be very interesting."

Her full lips turned up in a small smile and she nodded her head.


	4. Girl, Interrupting

**Thanks again to Citikitti! Just to warn – this chapter is very M. I own nothing.**

**~*~**

Chapter 4 – Girl, Interrupting 

_Bella_

Having come clean about my past had been cathartic and Edward had been so great – even after my confession about having had dirty dreams that starred him – but I still felt ill. Jasper hadn't spoken to me since that afternoon and I couldn't sleep for thinking about it.

I had left the comfort of my borrowed bed for the plush sofa and HDTV of the living room, where I was currently dipping Ritz crackers into a jar of peanut butter and watching the late movie on Showtime. It involved men in varying degrees of undress, and was therefore making me feel at least somewhat better. The Cullens had told me to make myself at home, and for the first time I was following their orders completely.

I was having a difficult time concentrating on the movie, naked men or not -- none of them looked as good as the one sleeping upstairs. My mind kept creeping back to my conversation with Jasper – if it could be called a conversation at all.

I should have told him about Floyd's offer, I knew that. I had known it since he'd first contacted me last March, but I hadn't said a word. I knew that Jasper would have assumed that I would take the position and rag on me when I told him that I hadn't decided what to do. I wanted to take or not take the job of my own volition, not because I had been guilt-tripped into it.

I heard footsteps coming down the stairs and turned to find Jasper walking into the room. I was half-disappointed that it wasn't Edward. I turned back toward the TV without a word and dipped another cracker.

I felt the sofa sink under his weight, but I kept my eyes on the screen. I tried to choke back the lump that was forming in my throat.

"Are you getting crumbs in the peanut butter again?" His voice was thick with exhaustion.

"Yeah. You want some?" This was a conversation we'd had a million times over. I held the jar and box of crackers towards him, but kept my eyes firmly in front of me. I knew as soon as I looked his way I would burst into tears.

I heard him heave a sigh and felt the box pull down as he took an offered cracker. I finally looked over at him just as he was dipping it into the peanut butter. My chin began to quiver as I attempted to hold in my tears.

And then, I sobbed, mentally cursing myself for being such a wimp.

He dropped his Ritz into the jar and reached out to pull me into his arms.

"Bella," he whispered, "shhh." He stroked my hair and rocked us back and forth. "I'm sorry."

"I didn't mean it," I sobbed. "I didn't mean what I said. I was just…"

"I know. I didn't mean it either. Especially not bringing him up – that was low and I'm so, so sorry."

I nodded into his chest and sniffled.

"Why are we so nasty to each other when we fight, Ding Dong?"

"Cause we're both horrible bitches?"

Jasper chuckled. "You're worse than me though – you referred to my future children as squalling brats."

"Yeah, but only because _you_ were a squalling brat. I'm sure Alice's genes will counteract that." I sucked in a breath and hiccupped. "Hopefully."

He laughed and ruffled my hair in that annoying way of his, which right at that moment didn't bother me like it usually did.

"I told Edward… about Todd. I don't know why, but it felt good to tell him," I confessed. I hadn't said Todd's given name aloud in years, but it didn't tear at me the way it always had.

"I know why," Jasper said, nodding meaningfully. "It's these Cullens, Ding Dong. I tell you, they are like big ole human confessionals or something." He grabbed his abandoned cracker from the peanut butter and shoved it messily into his mouth. "The first day I met Emmett, he somehow managed to hyponotise me into confessing that I'd slept with Alice the first day we met. Then he proceeded to chase me all around the grounds with a baseball bat. Good times."

~*~

Jasper and I stayed up the rest of the night watching the late, late shows and laughing at all of the bad love scenes. By the time the sun's light began streaming through the large front windows we were both loopy from lack of sleep.

As the house began to slowly come alive, we headed to our respective rooms to shower and get otherwise ready for what was sure to be painful day. We were wide awake now, but sooner or later we were both inevitably going to crash.

I came downstairs a while later to find the whole family – minus the one I really wanted to see – in the kitchen making breakfast.

Carlisle and Esme were standing over the stove with several things on the go, and Emmett was making toast while Rosalie cut up oranges for Alice to squish into the juicer. Jasper was off to the side and he already looked terrible. He was knocking back coffee in an attempt to wake himself up. I grinned widely at him to rub in the fact that I felt great while I still did. His grunted hello was drowned out by a chorus of more cheerful ones from the others.

"Breakfast is nearly ready," Alice informed me. "Bella, would you mind going to get Edward?" She gave me a significant look. I turned from her to glare at Jasper and his answering grin only confirmed my suspicions – he had gotten Alice in on his little matchmaking scheme.

~*~

I knocked on Edward's bedroom door but received no answer. I waited for a moment, shifting from foot to foot in my impatience. I counted to five, and when he still didn't answer I knocked again.

"Edward, you there?"

"Yeah," his voice called from the other side of the door. I opened it and went through.

And immediately came to a dead stop.

He was standing with his back to me, rubbing a towel through his wet hair, wearing nothing but another towel, riding low on his hips.

I had taken his "yeah" to mean "come in". _Oops_.

He paused in his hair drying, pulling the towel from his head and half-turned so I could see his profile.

I should have left then, turned around and apologised for barging in on him, but I didn't. Instead I stood there, slack-jawed, and watched as a droplet of water dripped from his hair and trailed down the middle of his back, all the way down, where it was absorbed by the dangerously low-slung towel.

I gulped audibly.

Edward was still standing in the exact position as if he, too, was frozen in place. I finally came to my senses and turned to go, but one of my feet caught the other and I staggered slightly, falling against the half-closed door, which slammed shut under the weight of my body.

The sound seemed to snap Edward out of his stupor. He turned to face me fully, the towel he'd been using to dry his hair clutched in his hands. My eyes studied it for a moment, the way he had the fabric twisted around his fingers – he seemed to be pulling it taut between his hands, his knuckles turning white with the effort he was exerting.

My gaze drifted slowly upwards until I met his eyes – they were dark green and heavy-lidded, staring into mine with barely concealed lust. His jaw was clenched tight and his nostrils flared slightly as his breathing sped up.

I had never wanted someone the way I wanted Edward Cullen at that moment. But was I audacious enough to reach out and take what I wanted, or had I become a coward as Jasper had accused the day before?

"Fuck it," I growled. In three long strides I had crossed the distance between us and pressed myself against Edward's wet body. I threaded my fingers into his dripping hair and pulled his lips down to mine.

The towel he had been clutching for dear life fell down around our feet when he reached out and grabbed me by the hips. I moaned into his mouth, pulling at his hair and trying to bring him closer; I _needed_ him closer.

Edward slid his hands from my hips around the curve of my ass and lifted me into the air. I wrapped my legs around his waist and pushed my chest flush against his as we continued to hungrily devour each other's mouths. My left heel caught under the fabric of his damp towel and I felt it begin to fall away.

He walked me backwards toward the bed where he flopped me onto my back and climbed up, hovering over me. His lips paused on mine, his hands leaving my backside to search blindly for his towel, which he had just come to realise had slipped from his waist. "Oh shit," he gasped against my mouth.

"Forget it," I told him, my voice sounding husky. I wrapped both hands behind his head and pressed our mouths firmly together.

He seemed to be uncomfortable about his nudity, or afraid that it would insult me in some way, as he kept angling his body away from mine. He was so caught up in making sure not to offend my clothed body with his stark naked one, that he kept accidentally pulling my hair. After the third time it got trapped beneath his hands and other appendages, I decided to take over. I pushed on his shoulder, motioning for him to roll onto his back. He acquiesced, pulling me with him.

Edward threaded his fingers into my hair as I sucked on his plump bottom lip. I slid a hand down his chest, searching blindly for that fine trail of hair that I hadn't stopped thinking about since the day by the pool. I began stroking it up and down, pulling back whenever my hand nearly made contact with his dick.

I slid my mouth over his chin and down his throat. I felt his moan vibrate against my lips as he shifted slightly, and I felt something _else_ against my inner thigh. I sat up straight and studied him for a moment; he looked so gloriously debauched lying there under me: his hair twisted every which way, his lips red and swollen, his chest heaving as he gasped for breath. He was so fucking beautiful. Without even thinking, I slid down a little and took his erection into my hand. He hissed and his body jerked, dislodging me slightly.

"Is this what you dreamed about, Bella?" he asked in a low voice.

I shook my head. "Do you want to know? Do you want to see?" I taunted him, tightening my grip and stroking swiftly upwards.

"Yes," he gasped.

I continued down his legs until my feet slipped onto the carpeted floor, then leaned forward and took him into my mouth.

His hips shot up involuntarily and he moaned. I laid my left hand against him and pushed his body back towards the mattress, my right hand still stroking him steadily below my mouth.

He uttered a muffled "Ah, fuck," and I flicked my eyes up to find that he had his hand pressed over his mouth and he appeared to be biting the side of it.

As I continued my ministrations, I began to over think things, wondering if I was doing it properly – it _had_ been a very long time and I'd hardly been skilled in the first place. Those thoughts progressed to like-minded ones, leaving me feeling self-conscious about the entire thing. What the hell was I doing? A couple of Edward fellatio dreams and I suddenly think it's a good idea to try it out in real life? I seemed to have forgotten that dreams do not equal reality, and that real life Bella does not have the necessary skills to pull off the shenanigans that her dream counterpart gets up to during her nighttime frolics.

And that's when I remembered that the door wasn't locked. I was half expecting his mother to burst in and tell me I wasn't being very lady-like. In dream scenarios, one never has to worry about tedious things like the door being locked. I picked up my pace. I could hardly stop now!

I was lost in my self-flagellating thoughts when I noticed a change in Edward's breathing. He suddenly groaned, "Oh, fuck, Bel-_la_." His hand was gently but insistently pushing against the top of my head, motioning for me to move -- very sweet of him, but where the hell else was it going to go? It would make a mess, and he just got out of the shower… my mind was all over the place and making little sense.

I clamped my lips around him and sucked hard, my cheeks hollowing out, then drove my mouth down as far as I could, remembering in my haze something I had once read in my mother's _Cosmo_.

"Fuck!" he cursed again, before spilling into my mouth. I swallowed quickly – fuck it tasted gross, and I didn't remember there being so much of it. Fantasies always _did_ leave out the unpleasant parts. I crawled back up beside him on the bed and lay still for a moment, both of us catching our breath.

_What in the fuck did I just do? Pop randomly into a guy's room and give him a blowjob? God, what's he going to _think_ of me? _

I felt the bed shift next to me, then his hand stroking the side of my face.

"So, umm…" I stammered. "I came up to, ah, get you for breakfast." _The plan wasn't to actually _have _you for breakfast… _"We should probably get down there before someone comes looking for us, and, well…" I motioned to his naked body without looking in his direction.

"Oh..." he began.

I climbed over the side of the bed and jumped down, stumbling. _Damn high beds in this house_. I walked briskly to the door, and as I was closing it behind me I peeked my head around and said, "So, ah, breakfast."

As I was shutting it I heard him say uncertainly, "Oh… okay."

I ran both hands through my hair to flatten it and straightened my clothes before entering the dining room.

Everyone was seated around the table, leaving two chairs open across from one another. I felt like there was a giant, flashing sign above my head that read 'JUST BLEW EDWARD'. I licked my lips fastidiously and took the seat next to Jasper.

"Where's Edward?" Alice asked.

"Oh, umm… He'll be right down."

I filled my plate with a shaky hand and began attempting to eat. I no longer had much of an appetite.

Edward entered the room a moment later. Although he'd thrown on a pair of jeans and a collared grey shirt, but hadn't bothered to fix his sex hair. _Fuck._ He sat down across from me and began to fill his plate without making eye contact.

_Fuck. Fucking fuck fuck._ _Stupid ass bitch, Bella_. Why didn't I just leave the room when I saw that he wasn't decent? _Because_ _he is completely and utterly indecent, that's why._ _Stupid horny bitch_. What must he think of me now?

I kept glancing at him surreptitiously throughout breakfast, but I didn't once catch him looking back.

After we'd all finished eating and I'd helped Esme and Carlisle with the cleanup, I rushed up to my room to hide. I threw myself on the bed and beat my head against the pillows.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid. _

I heard someone outside the door, so I quickly grabbed the _National Geographic_ from the bedside table and pretended to be engrossed in an article.

It was Jasper, of course, and he burst in without even knocking. _Typical._

He stood by the side of the bed, holding onto the bedpost and twirling himself back and forth.

"You make an ugly ballerina," I grumbled rudely.

He chuckled. "Good magazine?"

"Yep."

He placed both hands on the post and swung from side to side. "So…"

"So."

"You looked a little dishevelled when you came down to breakfast." He sounded smug. I didn't need to look at his face to know the exact expression he was wearing.

"Mmmm…" I mumbled, and continued to flip through my magazine. _Ooh, interesting fossil found in Peru…_

"And you had water spots on your shirt."

"Did I." I flipped another page, nearly tearing it in my annoyance.

"And Edward's hair was wet," he continued mercilessly.

I looked up at his pasty mug and slammed my magazine shut. "Out with it, Jazz. This Clue shit is getting on my nerves."

"Well… I think it was Bella and Edward in the bedroom with the bow-chica-wow-wooow."

Jasper and his affinity for creepy '70's porn. Idiot. I glared but gave no answer.

"Isabella, my dearest, oldest, most beloved friend -- did you just fuck Edward?"

"No!" I exclaimed, sitting bolt upright on the bed and flinging my magazine to the side. "I did not _fuck_ Edward!" I clapped my hands over my mouth, realising how loud I'd been. I could feel the heat flooding my face.

"Well he certainly looked like he'd been worked over pretty good."

I twisted my hands in front of me, avoiding Jasper's eyes. I licked my lips guiltily.

"Holy shit, you blew him didn't you?"

I groaned and buried my face in my hands. "Oh God, it seemed like a good idea at the time."

Jasper cracked up laughing, smacking the bedpost. "Oh, Bell," he guffawed.

"I couldn't help it; he dazzled me."

That sent the bastard into hysterics.

"Fuck, I should have just had sex with him, right? It would have been less dirty. Oh God, I'm a cocksucking whore."

Jasper snorted. "You are not a cocksucking whore."

"I am."

Jasper patted me reassuringly on the shoulder. "So, did he reciprocate?" He waggled his eyebrows at me.

I cringed in remembrance of how I'd bolted from the room and threw myself face first on the bed. "I'm a cocksucking whore," I mumbled into the mattress.

"Oh, hi Edward!" Jasper said in a loud and obviously overenthusiastic voice. "I'm just going to, well, leave," he added, laughing heartily all the way down the hall.

I rolled over onto my back and squinted up at Edward.

"Would you think better of me if I told you I didn't sleep last night and lack of sleep unhinges me a bit?" I cringed at the whiny sound of my voice.

Edward sighed and rolled his eyes, then walked over and shut the door. "You know," he said, "if you wouldn't have run off like a frightened kitten, I _would_ have reciprocated. And I'm not a whore either."

So much for hoping that he hadn't heard our conversation.

"Oh God," I muttered. "I swear I'm not usually like that… I just… I just want to do dirty things to you, all right? I _did_ do dirty things to you. Dirtier things. I want to do dirty, dirty things to you."

_Jesus, someone shut me up for the love of all that is holy. _

I groaned again and pulled one of the ten thousand pillows over my face. The bed sank down beside me and light poured in as the corner of the pillow was lifted.

"Bella," came his low voice, "you have nothing to be embarrassed about, and I absolutely do not think badly of you. I would have to be insane."

I snorted a laugh and slapped him lightly on the chest. He caught my hand and brought it under the pillow with us, giving it a gentle kiss.

"Now," he said quietly, "how about _I_ do dirty, dirty things to _you_."

I whimpered and felt his smile against my hand. He leaned over and pressed his lips to the side of my neck. The air under the pillow had become heady with his scent; I felt like I was drowning in it.

"Ugh," I groaned.

"What is it?" He sounded unsure.

"I love the way your skin smells," I admitted.

He rolled over, knocking the pillow away, capturing my mouth with his.

Things were just beginning to get interesting when I heard Alice's musical voice exclaim, "Edward, get off of her. How rude! The final dress fitting is today and you're going to make us late!"

His eyes met mine; they were comically round and his hair was crazily mussed.

"Now!" Alice shouted before slamming the door behind her. She was kind of scary; apparently she got that from her mother.

I whimpered, jutting out my lower lip. For the first time in years I wanted – no, _needed_ – sex. "I think I'm gonna cry."

**~*~**

**Feedback would be great – I was nervous about posting this one! **


	5. Ladies Night

**Thanks once again to Citikitti. I own nothing – blah, blah, blah. **

**This part is longish and silly. Hope you enjoy! **

**Oh, and there may be an interruption in my weekly posting next week due to Christmas festivities, but I will try to sneak away at some point and post the next chapter. Happy Holidays everyone! **

**~*~**

Chapter 5 – Ladies Night

_Bella_

That night, just as I'd returned from my final dress fitting ready to have my world rocked by a hot redhead, Alice and I were descended upon by a horde of squealing femininity.

We were pushed and pulled towards the stairs to hair-raisingly high-pitched shrieks of "Bachelorette Alice, come on down! Tonight ladies!"

I was so, so glad that Jasper wasn't marrying one of the shriekers.

I escaped the rabble and headed towards the living room, where the guys were all seated, taking turns playing Guitar Hero. Now _that_ was more like it.

"Bella!" Alice hollered. "Come up to my room so we can get ready!"

Jasper chortled at my pained expression. "Be nice, Bella."

"No way. I am _not_ going to the chick party. My head will implode from all the squealing."

The guys all laughed -- even Edward. Assholes.

"Anyway, your bachelor party is tomorrow night and I still have a couple of things to get ready." I was lying through my teeth. There was nothing to prepare at all.

"Wait, what? _You're_ planning the bachelor party?" Emmett asked. "The hell?"

"I'm the best man, it's my job," I informed him.

"But you're a girl."

"Your point being?" I glared at him and he had the decency to look frightened.

"Don't worry, Emmett, Bella is not your typical girl," Jasper vouched for me.

"Bella, get your ass up here!" Alice bellowed.

I grumbled under my breath. "You are gonna owe me for life for this, Whitlock," I growled.

A cacophony of masculine laughter followed me up the stairs.

Once up there I was poked, prodded and lip glossed within an inch of my life. When all was said and done I felt a little violated, but I bit my tongue. For Alice, for Jasper, I kept telling myself.

A tall, blond bombshell type pulled out a sparkly pink piece of cardstock and announced that it was time to discuss the rules of the game. Oh fuck, a game whose rules were pink and sparkly? I began to panic.

"So, we're going to be having a little scavenger hunt throughout the course of the night, ladies. I'll give you all your lists in a minute. First there are a couple of rules we need to go over."

She stood up in front of us, sticking out her massive chest and taking out her chewing gum with flourish. She cleared her throat.

"Number one – nothing on the list can be purchased. Not from a store, a person, a vending machine, nothing. No money can change hands. Second – you cannot retrieve any of the items from your own possessions. _No_ exceptions. And thirdly – once we have returned here to the house you may not continue to hunt. That is time out. Okay, any questions?"

I was tempted to be a smartass and ask her something asinine, but I kept my mouth shut. Alice. Jasper. Be nice.

When no one spoke up she stuck her gum back in her mouth with a "Grrrrreat!"

"Go Tony the Tiger," I muttered under my breath. Alice looked sideways at me and winked. I loved Alice.

I was given a bedazzled bag which read "Alice & Jasper, Truluv4ever", and my own sparkly pink list. I groaned when I saw its contents. _Oh well --_ _chin up, Bella_. There were a few things I was pretty sure I could cross off before even leaving the house.

~*~

**#1 – A condom. **

**#3 – A pair of men's underwear. They must be removed directly from the man's body or they do not count. The man may not be your spouse/significant other. Or your brother (this means you, Alice). Or your best friend Jasper (this means you, Bella). **

I cornered Edward on his way back from the kitchen. He smiled widely at me. _Yum._

_No time for love, Doctor Jones_.

"Do you have a condom?" I whispered.

He looked taken aback. "Um… what?" I wondered how the guy could possibly be surprised by my seeming forwardness after what I had done to him hours earlier.

I rolled my eyes. "We're doing this stupid scavenger hunt and it's on my list. We're not allowed to use our own stuff, not that I have condoms anyway." I cringed internally – I sounded like I was calling him a manwhore for having condoms.

"Ah, sure. I'll just go…"

"One sec, Edward. Um…" God, this was harder than I thought it was going to be. "Can I have your underwear? The ones you're wearing, they have to be off your body, not just, you know, a spare pair or something…"

"Oh, of course. They're yours." He smiled at me again and I nearly combusted. "I'll be right back."

He came back down a moment later, placing a foil square into my palm and handing me a pair of boxers. They were still warm.

"I just bought those today, you know."

I tore my eyes away from his undies to look him in the eye. "What, the boxers?"

"No," he laughed, "the other thing."

Oh, condoms, right. How sweet, he wanted to make sure I knew he didn't keep a stockpile of condoms. "Okay," I answered stupidly.

"And don't worry, I didn't put on another pair, just in case they check me later," he winked. "I _do_ mean the underwear this time."

My eyes slid down to his crotch before I could stop myself. I licked my lips, tasting disgusting gloss, and then looked away quickly, hoping I had been stealthier than I thought. His audible gulp told me I had not.

"Is there anything else I can help you with?" His voice was low, seductive. He held my gaze for a moment and this time I gulped. He reached out a hand towards my list, but I snatched it back. It was too embarrassing. I glanced it over again myself.

"Not unless you have handcuffs… or pornography."

He laughed, "Sorry, but no."

"Thank God," I said under my breath. He smirked a bit and I wondered if he'd heard me.

"It's a good thing you have the rule about your own possessions, otherwise Rose would be all over those two."

I made a face. "Ew."

"Bella!" Alice yelled from the living room. "Where are you? Time to go!"

"I guess I've got to…" I motioned to the other room. "Thanks, Edward."

I realised I still had his boxers scrunched up in the palm of my hand; his body heat had long since been replaced by mine. I dropped them in the bag.

"Anytime," he said in a quiet voice.

I turned to go, when I felt his hand on my shoulder. He leaned down to my ear. "And Bella," he whispered, "be safe."

I closed my eyes at the feel of his nose drifting over the shell of my ear. He pressed his lips to my cheek, lingering there for a moment. I released my lip from between my teeth, only realising I had been gnawing on it when it began to hurt. I nodded mutely and he removed his hand from my shoulder and took a step back.

I walked in the direction of the others, fighting the urge to reach up and stroke the spot on my cheek where his lips had just been. It was tingling.

~*~

**#6 – Something phallic. **

On our way to our dinner reservations – we were going to fill our faces before liquoring it up – we walked past an open market with an outdoor fruit vendor. Mentally apologising to Police Chief Charles M. Swan, I reached over and stole myself a banana.

~*~

_A hop, skip and a jump and a few Screwdrivers later…_

**# 9 – Something that vibrates.**

I was with Alice in the washroom of a seedy bar – number two on our long list of seedy bars – she was touching up her lips and I was busy laughing at the ridiculous objects in the vending machine. How was it more appropriate and useful to have a vibrating cock ring for sale in a women's bathroom, instead of say, a tampon?

Vibrating… hmmm… I pulled out my list.

"Alice—how small are your hands?" She came over and read the description of the object I was studying, then opened the metal flap on the bottom and shoved her hand in, giggling drunkenly.

"Just about small enough I'd say." And she scored us each a vibrating cock ring. I _loved_ Alice.

~*~

_Two bars and several Mai Tais later…_

**#2 – A man's phone number written on a beer coaster. The man must be a stranger. **

"So, what's your name?" I attempted to sound seductive, but I may have been slurring too much for it to work.

I was met with a leer. "Steve," he informed my breasts. "What's yours?"

"That's not important… What is important is that you give me your number." I held out a pen and a Heineken coaster.

"Forward aren't we?" Steve grinned lecherously. "Well, honey, here's my business card. Call me anytime."

I waved my hands dismissively at the offered card. "No. No, no, no. You need to write it down on this."

With a puzzled look, Creepy Steve took the pen and coaster and jotted down his number. He looked extremely pleased with himself when he handed it back to me. I tossed it into my bag without looking.

"So Steve, you look like a hairy guy. Do you have a hairy chest?"

Now he looked downright bewildered. "Er, no actually. I wax it." He gave me a little wink.

_What a douche. _

"Ah, crap," I muttered, and stumbled back over to find Alice.

~*~

_Two sips of beer, four shots of tequila, one Long Island iced tea later…_

**#11 – An application form for a position in the sex/entertainment industry. Must be completely filled out. **

On our way into a dive called BJ's Tavern, I took notice of an interesting establishment across the way.

I snuck off while the other girls were tossing back pornographically-named shooters and therefore unlikely to notice.

I walked through a heavy, metal door and ascended a long stairwell. It was illuminated by small, red potlights on either side of the railing. I tried not to touch any surface, for my drunken fear of catching herpes, or something worse.

Another door at the top of the stairs opened into a bright, sickeningly fragrant room with many potted plants and a circular reception desk, behind which sat a bored looking bleached-blond girl who was filing her nails and chomping on a piece of gum.

"Can I help you with somethin'?" she asked rudely, not looking up from her nails.

"Er… I was wondering if I could have a job application?"

She glanced up at me at last, her eyebrows raised in utter disbelief. I was offended – in a hazy, drunken sort of way. She looked me up and down, taking in my legs and spending a long time on my tits.

"Yeah, I guess. You've got that Marianne girl next-door thing goin' on. Jeff might like you."

I did not want to find out who this Jeff person was.

"Hang on, there's one around here somewhere."

She searched through a drawer, coming up with a creased and coffee stained page. Thank God it was short – I was too wasted to do much secretarial work tonight.

"You can fill it out here if ya want."

"No, that's okay. I'll bring it back, er, tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow."

"That's probably better anyway. Jeff will be here tomorrow; he can get a good look at ya."

I smiled vaguely and took off for the stairs.

~*~

_One Singapore Sling, two Whisky Sours and one cigarette that may or may not have been laced with marijuana later…_

**#7 – Pornography in any form.**

I was forcibly dragged into a naughty video store on the way to All American Beef – which I was informed was a strip club and _not_ a butcher shop as I had first thought.

The Blondsi Twins (as I had taken to calling them, though there were actually three of them – the fact that this made sense in my head showed how impaired my judgement truly was) were trying to get Alice into a Love Swing as I pretended to peruse the racks.

I was planning on pocketing some porn and lube and who knew what else – I was already a criminal, why fight it? – but the pimply-faced clerk was eyeing me like a hawk.

I finally crept over to him and told him flat out that I needed some porn.

"Well, that _is_ what we rent here, little missy," he replied in an oily voice that made my skin crawl.

_Ew – a little kid just hit on me. _

"No, look, I'm on a scavenger hunt and I'm not allowed to pay for it." I widened my eyes to extenuate my point. At least I tried to; they were feeling a tad heavy.

"Oh, I see. What are you gonna do for me then?" He waggled his eyebrows.

I scrunched up my face in disgust. "Look, kid, I'm old enough to be your aunt or something."

"It's Tommy, and I'm 21."

"Oh. Well, your older sister then."

"Come on. I'll give you _Anal Invaders II: The Cum Chronicles_. No one ever rents it anyway, it won't be missed."

I wondered why number two wasn't popular; was it as disappointing a sequel as _Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom_?

I rolled my eyes and followed Tommy pimple-face in behind the curtain. I came out thirty-eight seconds later with gay porn stashed in my bag and a lower opinion of myself.

~*~

_Two Bloody Marys, one Chocolate Martini and three body shots (I would never be able to look at Alice the same way ever again) later…_

**#4 – An item that could be used for roleplaying.**

**#5 – Handcuffs.**

**#10 – Something that could be used as lube. **

Ah, All American Beef. Never before had I been so completely surrounded by screaming women and sweaty, naked men. And never before had I wanted to vomit so badly but sadly could not.

I watched in horror as Sir John Thomas, The Love Doctor and Fireman Johnson strutted across the stage, naked as the day they were born and shook their wee-wees in our general direction.

Sir John Thomas had taken a liking to Rosalie, so we were graced with his royal presence through nearly his entire act. After he had been all but run off the stage by the MC, Randy the Piece Officer came out in a flurry of strobe lights that made me want to either vomit or have a seizure. Once the strobe had died down in way of a reddish glow, I spotted my prize – a pair of handcuffs dangling from the unnecessary belt wrapped around Randy's naked hips.

I choked down an ounce of liquid courage and went in search of a way backstage. It was surprisingly easy to find. I was waiting in Randy's dressing room when he returned from the stage.

Standing in the shadows, I watched as he tossed pieces of his outfit onto a dressing table: hat, vest, holster... no handcuffs. I peeked around the corner – he still had them dangling over his bare ass. Shit. It didn't look as if he was taking off the belt. How was I going to get them? He was sure to go back out and dance with the patrons like some of the other strippers were doing. I couldn't let one of the others sweet talk him out of his cuffs – it had to be me. I took a deep breath and stepped out of my hiding spot.

He whipped around to face me with a panicked expression spreading across his face.

I held up my hands, palms forward. "Please don't call security. I only want to ask you a question."

He furrowed his brow quizzically and placed a hand on his hip. I almost broke up laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation – he was standing there with nothing but a strip of fabric over his naughty bits and a string up his butt, and I was in a position of surrender as if he were an _actual_ cop. I knew very well what actual cops looked like, and that certainly wasn't it.

"My dad's a cop," I blurted out. "Police Chief, actually. Haven't seen him in a few years...well, more than a few... nearly five."

He continued to eye me speculatively as I rambled. I couldn't believe I was blathering on about my cop dad to a fake cop stripper. I probably sounded like I had a daddy complex.

"When I was a little girl I used to play with his cuffs..." Oh, roleplay. "And his hat. So I was wondering... could I borrow yours?" My voice trailed off at the end. Lamest excuse ever. Randy the Piece Officer was going to call security and report that a crazed, drunken, rambling nympho had broken into his dressing room. I watched him closely, awaiting the inevitable.

But after a moment's thought that looked truly painful, Randy smiled.

"You want my hat an' cuffs?" he asked in a heavy southern drawl. "Because of yer daddy?"

I shifted from foot to foot and tried to look him in the eye. "Something like that."

He threw back his head and howled with laughter. "Is this one of them there bachelorette party scavenger hunts?"

"Er... how'd you guess?"

"Well, some blond lady tried to rip my belt off when I was leaving the stage, so when you asked I figured you must be together."

I hung my head in shame at having lied. "Sorry," I mumbled.

"No worries, darlin'. I have to give you points for inventiveness and daring, that's fer sure. Tell you what – I'll give 'em to ya if ya promise to bring 'em back to me sometime."

I widened my eyes and grinned like a little kid being given an ice cream. "Seriously? Holy shit! Thanks!"

Randy winked and unhooked the handcuffs from his belt and passed them to me, then reached behind him to grab his police hat from the table and tossed it into my hands. I caught it with a laugh and stuffed it into my bedazzled bag with the cuffs. I backed around Randy and headed for the door.

"Thanks again, Randy. Really."

"It's Gil actually," Randy informed me with another wink. "Randy's just a stage name."

I forced a laugh, resting a hand on the table as I stumbled over a rogue boot on the floor. My hand came in contact with a jar on the lighted table. _Hair_ _gel_. _Hmmm..._ _Three items in one? Could I be so lucky?_ I called Not-Randy's attention to the boot on the floor and sneakily pocketed the jar as he bent over to remove it from harm's way.

I backed the rest of the way out of the room and went to find the girls feeling triumphant, though my increasingly heavy bag was becoming cumbersome.

~*~

_One glass of champagne later..._

**#8 – A lock of chest hair **

The girls had drawn the attentions of a group of strippers which included "Randy", who winked at me again. I began to worry that he might expect something of me when I returned his things, though I suspected he just had something in his eye. I decided it would be better for me to mail them to the club rather than coming in person. I'd already embarrassed myself plenty in the name of a stupid competition.

As Blondsi Twin #3 (the one I actually liked, though I couldn't for the life of me remember her name) was opening a second bottle of champagne, Fireman Johnson leaned in to whisper to Blondsi Twin #1 (the one I disliked the most for being overly perky and giving me the stink eye). _Hairy chest. _It was the last thing on my list.

I needed something sharp, something to cut. I usually always carried a Swiss Army knife with me wherever I went, but I had taken it out of my bag before my flight. Alice had one, didn't she? Jasper told me he'd bought her one just to laugh at her reaction, but had been shocked to find she actually loved it. Could my luck possibly hold out? Did Alice have a multi-purpose tool in her designer handbag?

I reached over and slid it towards me, opening it slowly on my lap and rummaging through it by feel alone. When my hand closed over the cold metal and hard plastic, I almost squealed like the ditzy friend of Alice's in the purple dress – _almost_, but I held it back. I did want to preserve at least a scrap of my dignity.

I slipped the implement of chest hair retrieval into the palm of my hand and slowly closed the zipper of Alice's bag, then slid it back onto the seat beside me. I felt around with my fingers for the scissors and flipped them out.

I stood up and leaned over, reaching out with my champagne glass and setting it down on the table to be filled. As #3 (Kate! Her name was Kate!) filled my glass, I pretended to stumble towards Fireman Johnson. In an act that could not possibly have been as stealthy as I believed at the time, I cut off a patch of his chest hair with the scissors.

It served him right, I told myself. That much chest hair violated safety codes – it was hardly fire retardant. He needed to take lessons in manscaping from Creepy Steve the phone number guy.

I wrapped the good fireman's sweaty fur in a tissue and shoved it into my bag between the gay porn and the vibrating cock ring.

~*~

_And the winner is..._

The limo ride back to the Cullen house was rife with stories and giggling. For my part I remained mostly silent, sinking back into the plush seat and attempting to enjoy the drive. This was made more difficult by the spinning that began each time I closed my eyes.

It had been a strange evening, but I was surprised to find I'd actually enjoyed myself. Even more surprising was how much I had missed Edward. He'd been topmost in my thoughts throughout much of the night, his parting demand that I keep myself safe playing like a record each time I did something risky and stupid to gain another scavenger hunt item.

We pulled up to the house and gathered all of our belongings before heading inside to tally up the points.

"No more hunting, girls," Blondsi Twin #1, whom Alice had just reminded me was named Tanya, informed us. She stared directly at me as she said it, giving me yet another bitchy look. Why she expected _me_ to cheat I had no idea, but she had been giving me the nastiest looks ever since I came out of the Piece Officer's dressing room.

We stationed ourselves in the living room, interrupting the boys' car chase movie. Edward turned off the television and they all gathered around us to watch. He graced me with a beautiful smile and I almost took off out of the room to hide. _Oh the things that I have done..._

"Okay girls, number 1," Tanya announced, holding up the Master List – the Pinkest and Sparkliest List of them all. "A condom."

I searched through my bag for Edward's foil packet and tossed it onto the coffee table with a dozen others. Edward caught my eye and grinned. _Yummy_.

"Everyone gets a point. Number 2 – A man's phone number written on a beer coaster."

I found my Heineken coaster and threw it on the table. Kate was checking to make sure they all had a number written on them. She snorted a laugh. "Bella, is this yours?" she asked, holding up my Heineken.

I nodded.

"He left you a little message." She cleared her throat theatrically before sharing with the class. "Hope to hear from you and your luscious rack very soon."

I rolled my eyes and reached for the coaster to read it myself. "He spelled luscious wrong. What a moron."

I dropped it on the table. My eyes met Edward's on my way back up; they were scrunched up angrily and he had his arms crossed over his chest. His bottom lip was stuck out like a little boy who'd been told he was naughty. A small giggle escaped me and his lip stuck out even further in response.

"Okay, full points again. Good work ladies. Now, number 3 – A pair of men's underwear. You know the rules."

At this, only Rosalie and I gave up the goods. Hers were a bright purple thong – no doubt the Royal Thong of Sir John Thomas – and mine, Edward's navy blue boxers.

"Hey, I know those!" Alice exclaimed when I pulled Edward's undies out of the bag. "I bought them. They're Edward's!"

Everyone stared at me and I immediately went on the defensive, thinking in my drunkenness that I was being accused of cheating. "What? I got them before we left, they count. They're not Jasper's."

"Sure, you probably went rummaging through poor Edward's underwear drawer, did you?" Tanya accused. Bitch.

Edward began to come to my defence, but I interrupted. I could take the bitch on myself.

"No, he took them off for me. Do you want to inspect them?" I held the boxers out towards her, dangling them on the end of my pointer finger. "They've probably still got some of his red pubes stuck to them somewhere," I said sarcastically, "I'm sure you'll be able to sniff them out."

"Bella," Emmett piped up, a grin in his voice, "How do you know what colour my brother's pubes are?"

Oh shit. I hadn't meant to sound as if I actually knew. I was just trying to give some bitch back to the leader of the Blondi Twins. I adopted my most innocent expression – well, the best I could when my face felt mostly numb. "Aren't they always the same colour as your hair?" I played dumb, careful not to look at Edward.

That fucker Jazz laughed, giving up my ruse.

"Mine aren't," Rosalie added helpfully.

"Eww... I don't want to know about your pubes, Rose," I told her.

"Right," Emmett said. "You only want to know about Edward's pubes, eh Bella?"

I looked around the room at everyone assembled and sighed deeply. "Yeah, pretty much," I admitted amidst a chorus of laughter.

One good thing about my humiliation, however, was that Edward was no longer pouting. He didn't seem the least bit embarrassed or upset that his most intimate hair was being discussed.

But Tanya sure did. "All right, all right... Bella and Rose get points. Moving on... number 4 – An item that could be used for roleplaying."

Tiaras, whips and horn-rimmed glasses were placed on the table. When Alice set down a stethoscope, Edward cringed.

"God, Al, please tell me that does not belong to our father."

"Can't do that. Took it from his office."

"That is so beyond wrong," he said in a disgusted voice. Emmett cracked up laughing.

I pulled out my police hat and sat it jauntily on my head.

"Isabella Swan," Alice mocked-scolded before taking to laughing. Edward looked confused.

"Full points for everyone again. Number 5 – Handcuffs."

I was the only one who reached into her bag this time.

"Where in the hell did you get those, Ding Dong?" Jasper sounded impressed.

"Nowhere special."

"Oh my God, they're from Randy the Piece Officer, aren't they?" squealed the purple-dressed squealer.

"Yeah," I admitted with a grimace. I still couldn't believe I'd gotten away with that stunt.

"How did you get them from him?"

"Who's Randy the Peace Officer?"

"A real cop?"

My head spun with the questions coming at me all at once. "Look guys, that's between Randy and me," I joked, hoping they would all shut up; they were giving me a headache.

"He's a stripper," Tanya said viciously, noticing the look on Edward's face. What the fuck was her problem? Now he was even more pinched.

I turned to her but bit my tongue. "Moving on?"

She smirked. "So only Bella gets a point for the cuffs," she said nastily. "Number 6 – Something phallic."

I placed my stolen banana on the table with keychains and all sorts of strange devices.

"Full points for everyone," Tanya announced.

I snatched my banana back grumpily and started to eat it.

"Number 7 – Pornography."

Only a few of us had gotten that one. I threw down my DVD and continued with my banana, believing it to be the best thing I had ever eaten.

"How in the hell did you get that kid at the video store to give that to you?" Rosalie asked.

I swallowed my bite of banana. "Flashed him my tatas."

She looked aghast for a split second, then grinned hugely.

"He was a _child_," Tanya scolded.

"He was twenty-one. It was either that or give him a kiss. I chose the lesser of the two evils; he had really gross halitosis. Anyway, I had my bra on. Jeez."

I took the last bite of banana and pretended to ignore all of the head shaking.

"Jesus, Ding Dong, how much have you had to drink?" Jasper asked.

"A lot, Jazzy," I said sadly. "A lot."

He made a cooing sound and snuggled me up against him, taking the banana peel from my slackened grip.

"Okay, points for Alice, Rose, Bella and Irina. Number 8 – A lock of chest hair."

Apparently I was the only one with the balls to cut off some stranger's chest hair.

"Ew, it looks like pubes!" exclaimed Purple Dress.

"That was you?" Tanya accused. "You cut that patch off of the Fireman?"

I shrugged my shoulders and snuggled into Jasper, away from her glare.

"A real fireman?" he asked me.

"No, he was a _stripper_," I said exaggeratingly, looking right into Tanya's pale eyes.

She sneered. "Bella gets a point. Number 9 – Something that vibrates."

Alice and I took out our matching cock rings and high-fived with them in our palms.

"Cock Ring Sisters!" I exclaimed as she giggled.

Most everyone had boring things like pens and keychains.

"Points for all. Number 10 – Something that could be used as lube."

Everyone had some strange substance for this one: oil, shaving cream, _whipped_ cream – but my hair gel got the loudest ewws.

"Number 11 – An application form for a position in the sex industry. Must be filled out completely."

As we presented our forms, Kate read them aloud. They were mostly from the porn shop and the strip club.

"Bella, when did you go into a Gentleman's Massage Parlour?" Kate asked.

"When we were in that gross place – Blow Job Tavern or something. You guys were too busy sucking on those Slippery Nipples to notice me sneak away."

"That was kinda dangerous, Bella. I told you to stay with me," Alice slurred.

"Bella doesn't know the meaning of the word _dangerous_ when she's plastered. I should have warned you," Jasper told her.

"Aw, Mom and Dad, I'm fine. Get back to it, Blondsi... I mean Kate."

She laughed. I watched her hold up my form, avoiding Edward's stare. I could feel his eyes boring into the side of my head.

"Okay, Bella's application to the Gentlemen's Massage Parlour:

"Name: Doctor Indiana Swan

"Age: Older than you, you fake blond, pointy titted tartlette." Kate started laughing into her hand. "I hope you don't mean me, Bella!" she guffawed.

"Sex: Yes, please. Only not in your establishment, because, well, gross.

"Availability: Single, but not interested in you, Jeff.

"Measurements: 5'4", 100 something pounds. Boobs: Medium, I guess. Ass: Never had any complaints.

"Special Talents: I guess you pervs mean sexual talents, since I doubt you care that I can unearth a vase super fast... I can continue going down on a guy while worrying about his mother bursting into the room and yelling at me. I suppose that would come in handy working here."

Jasper burst out laughing and looked straight at Edward. The jig, she was up.

"So, Bella, looks like you're in the lead. You just have to answer number twelve and you win," Tanya informed me with a sneer.

Number twelve? I didn't recall what it was. My bag was empty – I'd given up all of my items, besides Not-Randy's hat which was still perched on my head.

I pulled out the list and passed it to Jasper for him to read to me. "Number 12 – A secret sexual fantasy told to you by one of the other hunters. If a fantasy is not confided in you, you must admit to one of your own. This step is essential in order to win the hunt."

Ah fuck. I had meant to ask Alice, but after the Mai Tais it slipped my mind. And those Mai Tais had been a _very_ long time ago... Alice would have told me. I _loved_ Alice.

"Haha!" my beloved cackled. "Now you have to tell us one of yours!"

Scratch that – I _hated_ Alice. Loathed her even. I was going to forbid her from marrying _my_ Jasper. The smug little she-devil had someone else's fantasy to blab about, all I had were my own and the rapt attention of everyone in the room – including the man who played the lead role. Ugh.

"What do I even win?"

"It's a surprise," Tanya said.

"It's worth it, Bella," Kate winked, earning her a harsh glare from her sister.

"Come on, Bella, don't be such a wuss."

"I know one!" Jasper announced cheerfully. I elbowed him in the ribs.

"Aww, don't be such a spoil-sport," Alice pouted.

"Fine! Jesus you assholes are pushy. But just so you know," I pointed my finger at Alice, "you are dead to me. _Dead_. And I loved you. I really, really loved you."

She giggled and danced around the room. "Bella loves me!"

"Last chance, Bella," Tanya looked purposely bored, picking at her fingernails.

I grumbled and rolled my eyes skyward. Everyone began their chorus of "come ons" again.

"I wanna have sex in an elevator," I blurted out. It was like ripping off a band-aid, only embarrassing rather than painful.

"And what _kind _of elevator, Bell?" Jasper asked in a knowing voice. "That's the best part."

"A glass elevator, okay?" I all but growled. "There was this glass elevator at a university where I worked on a research project, and I started having dreams about getting it on in there when everything was locked up and no one was around, knowing full well that the night watchman could wander by at any time and see everything. I wanna have hot sex in a glass freaking elevator. You happy now, you perverts?"

Everyone catcalled and laughed heartily at my expense. I caught Edward's eye and mouthed "with you."

A small, secretive smile turned up the corners of his lips.

"All right, boys, out! Slumber party time!" someone announced.

I reeled back and forth, confused and upset as Jasper and Emmett left the room and Edward headed towards the kitchen with an armful of empty beer bottles. I jumped up from my chair and followed after him.

"Hey, don't you want your prize?" someone called after me. If my prize was a naked Edward, then yes. Otherwise, I couldn't give a fuck.

I stumbled into the kitchen and leaned against the island to steady myself. "This is so unfair," I whined. Edward turned, looking surprised to find me there.

"Oh, Bella, you're about to pass out." He came over and wrapped an arm around my waist, holding me up straight.

"I know. I blame those evil hussies in there. I hate them all, and their stupid vaginas. But mostly I hate Jasper – the biggest, stupidest vagina of them all. Why'd he make me go?"

"Aww, I think he just wanted you to spend some time with Alice," Edward soothed, his thumb rubbing calming circles over my hip.

"Well I do love Alice, but I only wanted to spend time with _you._ He wants us to spend all our time together, and then the moment I jump on the bandwagon, he pulls you out from under me." _Wait... that didn't sound right. _"That didn't sound right," I said aloud, crinkling up my nose.

Edward chuckled and kissed the top of my head. "I wanted to spend time with you, too," he said quietly.

"I want to sleep in your bed, okay? Will you save me from those horrible women?"

"I don't know if that's such a good idea," he mumbled against my hair.

He didn't want me in his bed? I felt like something was crushing my chest. I pulled myself from his arms and headed towards the door, tripping half way there and falling hard on my knees. How humiliating could this night possibly get? I was never going to drink again.

Edward pulled me up off the floor and swung me into his arms as if I weighed nothing. "Come on then, I'll save you."

"My hero," I whispered into his neck. I felt the vibration of his laugh against my cheek.

The girls created a fuss once they realised he was taking me away from the slumber party, but he told them I was too drunk and to basically shut up. God, he was amazing.

"What, so you're going to take advantage of her then?" I heard Tanya say. Edward didn't bother to answer her.

"What's her problem?" I mumbled.

I felt rather than heard his sigh. "Don't you worry about her," he answered. And then I knew no more. Only the black oblivion of blissful sleep.


	6. Mixed Up, Muddled Up, Shook Up World

**Hello! Now that all of the holiday craziness is over with for another year, I'll be back to my regular updating schedule. Sorry for the delay. Hope everyone had a great holiday! **

**Thanks again to Citikitti. I don't own these characters, just the silly things I make them do. **

Chapter 6 – Mixed Up, Muddled Up, Shook Up World

_Edward_

I had a difficult time falling asleep. I couldn't seem to stop watching Bella, stroking her soft hair and listening to her adorable, wuffling snores. The poor thing was in for such a mean hangover the next morning.

She should never have gotten into such a state. Some friends those women were; they didn't even watch out for her. The things she had done – _dangerous_ things. Who thought that it was a good idea to play a game wherein drunk women approach strange men in regard to sexually themed items? What if one of them had been a nut and someone had gotten hurt?

Angry fire burned through my veins at the thought of someone hurting Bella. She looked so sweet and innocent lying there beside me. It was hard to believe that mere hours before she had flashed a porn shop clerk and talked the handcuffs off a stripper.

Something wholly different burned through me at the thought of those encounters – jealousy. Pure, unadulterated jealousy. I had never been the jealous type, never cared if my girlfriends had male friends or spent a lot of time out without me. But Bella seemed to stir up all the primitive emotions inside me and bring them rushing to the surface. I wanted her all to myself.

I fell asleep making a mental list of all the glass elevators I knew of. Most of them were unfortunately and unhelpfully located in shopping malls.

~*~

I woke up to the sound of pitiful moaning. I jumped out of bed and stumbled into my bathroom to get Bella a glass of water and some painkillers – food would have to come soon.

I hoped desperately that she wouldn't think me a cad for agreeing to her drunken request to sleep in my bed. She had, after all, passed out before we had even made it up the stairs; she would have known no difference had I placed her in the guest room across the hall. At the time I told myself I was following her wishes – she'd seemed upset when I'd originally told her no – but now that I thought about it in the light of day, I was having second thoughts. She had been drunk when she'd asked to sleep in my bed, and at no time had she requested my presence next to her. I could have gone to the guest room myself, but instead I'd stripped down to my boxers and climbed in next to her. And then I'd watched her sleep like some pervert.

Would she think it was too soon to sleep together in such a couple-y way? Things were progressing very quickly between us physically, but would this be what sent her over the edge? Jasper had already warned me the night before that Bella would likely cut and run if she felt I was asking for any sort of commitment from her, so I knew that I had to keep things light if I wanted them to work out. And I really did; she was amazing.

"Bella, I brought you some water and Advil," I said in a quiet voice. Her head must have been killing her. "Are you doing all right?"

"Ah..." she croaked, "my throat hurts."

She sat up very slowly, holding onto her head with one hand while using the other to steady herself.

"Water, you're a godsend," she rasped. She took a long, loud gulp, spilling half of it down her shirt. "Fuck."

I handed her the pills and she swallowed them down without spilling any more of the water on herself.

"Ew, I'm wearing a bra." She twisted back and forth, her face pinched in discomfort.

"Um, sorry. I didn't want to undress you or anything."

"Well, thanks, but I wouldn't have minded. You could have undressed me, Edward."

"Now you tell me," I teased.

She smiled widely, then immediately winced. "Why'd I drink so much?" she groaned, crawling out of the bed. I put my arm around her waist to help; I couldn't imagine her being very steady on her feet.

"Oh, my jeans are gone," she said, staring down at her bare legs.

"I did remove those. Sorry. But there is nothing more uncomfortable than sleeping in jeans." My face felt red; I hoped she wasn't angry.

"Sleeping in a bra is just as bad. Take that off for me next time, would you?"

"I, um... okay," I stammered.

Bella smiled and patted my cheek before staggering into the bathroom.

~*~

All of the assembled females at breakfast looked pained, aside from my mother. Jasper and Emmett were amused by the nausea that surrounded them, and my father was busy doling out painkillers to the former party girls.

"Ugh – the food smell is making me nauseous," Bella whispered to me as we entered the dining room.

"I know, but you need to eat at least a little."

She shook her head like a small child being told to eat her vegetables.

"At least some toast and more water," I prompted. She was never going to feel well enough for Jasper's bachelor party that night if she didn't eat something, and I selfishly wanted to make sure she was there. She was the only reason I wanted to go at all.

"Where's your hat, Police Lady?" Emmett bellowed. All of the girls winced and Bella cuddled into my side and pressed an ear to my chest, covering the other with her hand. I wrapped my arm around her and helped her to the table.

"You're welcome," my brother mouthed at me. I rolled my eyes. Sure it felt amazing to have Bella in my arms, but I didn't want it to be because she was in pain.

I got her some toast and a glass of cold water from the kitchen – juice or milk or even coffee would likely come back up. I noticed a strand of hair was hanging in her eyes, so I pushed it behind her ear; it felt like silk. Jasper caught my eye. He shook his head infinitesimally and mimed running away with his fingers.

I sat back in my chair and glared into my plate. Was that really too much? I just wanted to look after her because she felt unwell.

When Mom and Dad went into the kitchen to make more toast – most of their guests were eating nothing else – Tanya perked up.

"So, how was _your _slumber party, Bella?" she asked, her voice rife with implication.

Bella slowly and calmly swallowed her bite of toast before answering. "I don't think I appreciate what you're implying, seeing as I was intoxicated and Edward is a perfect gentleman."

Tanya opened her mouth to respond, but snapped it angrily shut when my father re-entered the room, smiling over a platter of toast.

Emmett and Jasper were chuckling into their hands while Alice looked on, confused. Rose caught Bella's eye and smiled. She looked... proud? Very strange.

Tanya's treatment of Bella was ridiculous and uncalled for, and if she didn't cut it out I was going to have to confront her about it. I was hoping it had only been because she was drunk the night before, but I'd apparently been mistaken, as she continuing to be uncivil. I would have to ask Alice what had set her off.

Not long after breakfast Bella decided to take a nap, as she needed to recover before Jasper's party in just a few hours. I was immensely pleased when she climbed back into my bed instead of returning to her own.

"Edward," she called, just as I was about to close the door behind me. "Come join me later. You'll be tired for tonight too, if you don't rest."

I nodded my head before realising she probably couldn't see me with the dark curtains creating a false night in the room. "I'll be back up in a bit," I told her. I watched as she rolled over onto her side and snuggled into my blankets, her hair spread out over my pillows. I loved seeing her there.

I pulled the door closed with a contented sigh and went downstairs to see who was still upright. There was no way I was allowing myself to get anywhere near as wasted at Jasper's party as those girls had the night before at Alice's. I would cut myself off early in the night – I had a Bella to watch out for.

~*~

Emmett, Jasper, Bella and I climbed into a cab and drove into the city. Jasper's work and college buddies were meeting us at the secret location, which had been chosen by Bella.

When we pulled up outside of Club Coquette, Emmett whooped with excitement. "It _is_ a strip club!" he hooted.

"Of course it is, Emmett," Bella said with a roll of her eyes. "This is a bachelor party. What'd you think I was planning, a Tupperware party?

Emmett chuckled. "You're alright, Bella Swan." He threw an arm around her, clapping her on the back. "First round's on me!"

My brother herded us into the club and straight towards the bar, where he ordered up a massive quantity of tequila shots. So much for remaining sober.

I stayed close to Bella for the first half of the night, though Jasper continued to warn me to back off in increasingly obvious ways.

"Why does Jazz keep gesticulating at you?" Bella asked, her face screwed up in confusion. "He looks like a `tard."

"I dunno."

"You do so. I can tell you're lying, 'cause you keep looking at my forehead instead of my eyes."

Huh. Even drunk she was observant.

"Well, he has this theory..."

"Christ, Jasper and his psychobabble. No offence."

"Why would I take offence?"

"Well, you're a shrink, aren't you? I have nothing against your profession, just against idiots like Jasper who take a couple psych classes and suddenly think they know how to read a person's every action, and then predict their _re_action. He's been doing it since freshmen year. I'm like, 'you're a history major and you have no idea what you're babbling about, so fuck off'."

I snorted a laugh and nearly choked on my mouthful of beer. "Well, I suppose, in my professional opinion," I teased, "he _is_ right in assuming, with your past, that you _would _run away screaming if I came on too strong."

Bella cracked up laughing. "Is that what he said? He's worried I'll be scared off by _you_, when I was the one who gave you an impromptu blow-job after knowing you a week?"

Now I was laughing along with her, as well as half-hard in remembrance. It was a strange combination. "Well, when you put it that way, it does sound rather ridiculous."

"Rather ridiculous? Are you even the least bit drunk? You're far too... what's the word?"

"Coherent?"

"Yeah, that."

"I have to drink a ton for my coherency to waver I'm afraid."

Bella grinned widely and wrapped her arm around my waist. "To the bar then! We'll see if we can loosen you up a little."

By the time the show began on the stage, I was far less coherent. Every time I would finish a drink, another would magically appear in its place. I wasn't sure if it was Emmett or Bella who was responsible for the abracadabra, but I was beyond caring. I sat back in the corner seat and guzzled my magical drinks, watching as Bella joked around with Jasper and pushed dollar bills into the strippers' g-strings.

Emmett was highly amused by her antics, and kept repeating loudly to anyone who would listen that Bella was the coolest chick ever – like a guy trapped in the rockin' hot body of a woman. He was especially impressed when she somehow got hold of a can of whipped cream, which she then stuck between Jasper's legs and sprayed at anyone within range.

"Ew, Jazz, control yourself! You jizzed all over Emmett's favourite shirt! What are you, thirteen?"

At the end of a particularly annoying song with so much bass I could feel it in my throat, Bella left Jasper and came over to the table.

She sat down in the seat next to me and slid my beer towards her, picking at the label for a moment before lifting the bottle to her lips and taking a swig. She nodded as if to say "this shit is good", then swallowed another mouthful.

A new song started up, a much more pleasant one. Bella paused just as she was about to take a third drink, her full lips resting on the bottle rim. A small smile graced her mouth and she swayed slightly back and forth. I was mesmerised.

She finally took her drink and pulled back, her tongue darting out to catch a drop as it tried to escape down the side of the bottle. "So," she began, turning towards me, "are you enjoying the strippers?"

"Them?" Oh, Bella, as if I've looked away from you long enough to notice them. "Haven't been paying attention."

She snorted. "That's what they all say."

"No, I'm serious. I'd much rather see you."

She raised her eyebrows and smirked, before tipping the bottle back for a fourth time, effectively finishing my beer. "I see. So you want _me _to strip for you then."

"That's not exactly what I meant, but if you're offering." I returned her smirk.

She looked into my eyes for a moment, then shrugged her shoulders and stood up abruptly. Fuck, I'd offended her.

"Bella, I didn't mean --"

She was pushing the chairs out of the way and sliding the table over, leaving an open space in front of me. _Holy Mother of God. _

I sat there with my mouth hanging open as if to catch flies. With my beer gone I didn't even have anything left to occupy me, no outlet for my nervous energy.

Bella began swaying her hips to the music, moving closer to me, then further away, then closer still. I felt like I was in a trance, watching her hips go back and forth, closer and farther, taunting me.

She turned and moved closer still, shaking her pert ass in my face. I wanted to grab her and grind up against it. I wanted to attack her mouth, her breasts, to take her right there.

I reached out and placed my hands on either side of that tantalising ass and pulled her onto my lap. My voice was husky when I spoke. "How about later when there aren't so many... witnesses."

She laughed, her voice low, sultry. "Then let's get the fuck out of here, hmm?"

She didn't have to ask me twice. We were in a cab heading towards my condo before five minutes had elapsed.

We rode the elevator up to the top floor of my building, not once making eye contact or saying a word. We exited into the hallway and I unlocked my door, holding it open for Bella to enter ahead of me.

She made no pretence of looking around or uttering the usual niceties one utters when seeing a person's home for the first time, instead she toed off her shoes and headed directly for the hall to the right of the entryway.

I followed after her, watching as she peeked into each room. "This it?" she questioned when she found my bedroom. I nodded mutely and she flicked on the light switch.

Bella walked purposefully into the room and began examining my stereo system and CD collection. She removed a disc from the shelf and slid it into the machine, then turned to me with a grin. "You – on the bed," she commanded.

I did as I was told, planting myself on the edge of the mattress facing in Bella's direction.

She walked around me and turned on the lamp on the bedside table, before extinguishing the overhead light. She took a quick glance around the room, then dropped down onto the floor in front of me. "What are you...?" I felt her tugging at my feet – she was removing my shoes and socks.

"Thought those might cause me trouble later," she said with a smile.

Before I could do more than return her smile, she'd hopped up from the floor and was back at the stereo. She fiddled with the controls for a moment, and then... _The Kinks?_ -- the opening riff of _Lola_ poured out of the speakers. She kept her back to me, wiggling her ass to the music.

_I met her in a club down in old Soho, where they drink champagne and it tastes just like cherry co-la. C-O-L-A, co-la. _

She spun around to face me, shaking her hips and running her hands through her tousled mahogany locks.

_She walked up to me and she asked me to dance, I asked her her name and in a dark brown voice she said Lo-la. L-O-L-A, Lo-la. La-La-La-La-Lo-la._

Rolling her hips in a tantalising fashion, Bella made her way towards me. She placed her right foot next to mine on the bottom of the bed frame, then pulled off her t-shirt, tossing it over my shoulder. She leaned forward slightly and giggled when my eyes were immediately drawn to her cleavage. Pushing away from the bed, she danced herself around until she was facing the stereo.

The little seductress began those slow, hot fucking hip circles again, reaching around her back to unhook her green lace bra.

_Well I'm not dumb but I can't understand, why she walked like a woman and talked like a man._

When Bella turned back around with her bra dangling from the fingertips of her left hand, my eyes went automatically to her chest. Her long, wavy hair was hiding nearly everything from view, but as she twirled her hips up and down, the bottoms of her round breasts would become visible, nearly doing me in. I needed to touch her.

I met her wide, brown eyes, which at that moment were filled with mischief. She made her bra into a makeshift slingshot and sent it flying in my direction. I caught it with a laugh.

Bella did a little turn, unbuttoning her jeans with a devious shake of her chest. Throwing me a naughty wink, she slid down her zipper and shimmied over to me, pulling her jeans down over her hips. She held onto the bedpost and placed a foot in my lap.

"A little help?" she purred.

I grasped the bottom of her pant leg and tugged, then repeated the action on her other leg, grazing my fingertips over her smooth, supple thigh, reaching for the edge of her panties. Green lace -- they matched the bra. _Fuck me. _

"Uh-uh-uh," she chastised. "Not yet." Was she answering my unspoken request? She pulled that silken leg out of my grasp. I stuck my lip out.

"No sulking," she whispered in my ear, and I felt her warm hands travel up under the hem of my shirt. "I need to strip you, too."

My t-shirt joined Bella's at the head of the bed.

She popped the button of my jeans through the buttonhole and slowly brought down the zipper. I lifted up so she could pull them over my ass – which she gave a little pat. She grabbed my jeans by the pockets and tugged them down over my hips and thighs and kept on going, falling to her knees on the carpet. I felt her pulling them over my feet before tossing them in a pile with her own.

Her smooth hands drifted slowly up my legs, followed by the soft flesh of her torso, as she made her way back up my body. Her hands continued their journey, sliding up the legholes of my boxers, where they began to softly stroke the skin of my thighs. She leaned in towards my mouth, but instead of kissing me as I expected, she breathed, "much better," and used me as leverage to push herself backwards.

_Girls will be boys and boys will be girls, it's a mixed up, muddled up, shook up world. Except my Lo-la. La-La-La-La-Lo-la._

And she was fucking dancing again. Bella ran her hands through her hair, pulling it up and out and revealing her perfect breasts to me in the process.

_Sweet Jesus. _I loved this song. I loved this woman.

_Lo-la. La-La-La-La-Lo-la._

She turned around and began shaking her ass at me the way she had in the strip club. _Fuck_. I couldn't take it anymore. "_Bella_," I whined, my voice sounding very low to my ears.

She giggled and came towards me. "Poor baby," she cooed as she was pulling herself up to straddle my lap. Bella kissed me at last; she tasted of peppermint.

"Edward," she whispered, grinding herself slowly against me. We needed to lose our underwear, and fast. "Do you have a condom?"

We both laughed. "Just so I'm clear – it's not for a scavenger hunt this time, is it?"

"Nope. This time it's for your penis."

I laughed again. _Had I mentioned that I fucking loved this woman? _"I put some in the drawer of the night stand."

"Then let's scooch up there and you can finish stripping us."

"Scooch? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?"

She took my bottom lip between her teeth and bit down. "Shut up and take off my panties," she growled.

And what was I to do? I couldn't disobey a direct order.


	7. Late for a Very Important Date

**Updating twice in one week? Me? I know. It'll likely never happen again. **

**Thanks again to Citikitti!  
**

**~*~**

Chapter 7 – Late for a Very Important Date

_Bella_

I awoke in a very comfortable bed, wrapped in the arms of a very comfortable man. There was something annoying poking into my forehead. I kept swatting at it groggily, afraid that if I moved I would wake Edward.

"Whatcha doin'?" he mumbled.

"Dunno, something on my head," I rasped back.

He reached up a hand, his long fingers capturing the annoying article and placing it on my shoulder. I scrunched up my eyes and moved my face back to see what it was. Ah – condom wrapper. It fell on the bed as I disentangled myself from Edward and sat up.

"Where you going?" he whined.

"Bathroom. No idea how I have any fluids left in my body, but I gotta pee."

Edward laughed into his pillow. Another empty condom wrapper slid off his side of the mattress and onto the floor. They were everywhere. We had been messy.

"Mmm... nice view," I heard his voice say as I walked towards the ensuite bathroom. Perv.

There was a knock on the door as I was washing my hands. I towelled them dry and opened the door a crack. "May I help you?" I teased Edward through the small opening.

He pushed his way into the room and planted his lips on mine.

"Ew... but we both have morning breath," I protested halfheartedly. Edward just laughed and picked me up, setting my bare ass on the cold countertop.

I shrieked.

"Shit, sorry!" He placed his hands under my ass cheeks.

"Should we maybe take this back to where the condoms are, Dr. Cullen?"

"That would be a very good idea, Dr. Swan."

He carried me into his bedroom and tossed me onto the bed. I rolled over on my side, giggling, and reached for him. And that's when I saw the clock. _Fuck. _We'd been going at it all night and had slept all day. It was nearly 2PM.

I jumped up and stumbled off the bed. "Fuck! Look at the time!"

"So?"

"The fucking rehearsal!"

Realisation dawned slowly on his face. "Shower!" he exclaimed, and pulled me to the bathroom.

My mind began wandering as I watched him bend over and adjust the water temperature for our shower. "No time for love, Doctor Jones," I muttered to myself.

He turned around with his brow furrowed. "Didn't Short Round say that in _Temple of Doom_?"

_Oh God, I think I might love this man. _

~*~

We burst through the doors of the hotel ballroom at a quarter past three. We were forty-five minutes late.

Alice caught sight of us first. She ran in our direction, her short little legs moving so comically fast that I had to stifle a laugh.

"Oh my God! There you are! I was so worried! I left messages!"

"Jasper's got my phone..." But Alice wasn't paying me the least bit of attention; she was busy giving her brother the stink eye.

"I left messages," she repeated venomously.

"My phone died," Edward croaked. He looked a little frightened under the heat of her angry glare.

"Since when do _you_ let your phone die?"

He shrugged his shoulders and took a step backwards, unconsciously angling himself behind my body. He was feeding me to the sharks.

"God, you _reek_," Alice accused him. "How much did you have to drink last night?"

"I had a shower..." Edward began in a meek voice, but she ignored him and turned her glower in my direction.

"Strippers Bella, really?"

I shrugged and wandered away, leaving Edward to fend for himself. That little shark was all his.

I headed in Jasper's direction, though I have no idea why, as he had the smuggest of smug bastard grins decorating his pasty mug and was sure to be as annoying as his fiancée was belligerent.

"So..." he began, waggling his eyebrows. "What did _your_ activities entail last night... and dare I say this morning as well, Ms. Swan?"

I heaved a dramatic sigh and he gave me his "out with it" look.

"Well, there was the heavy drinking and strippers, as you know," I said slowly. He looked annoyed. Jasper hated waiting for dirt; he was such a gossipy old lady. "And then... well... sex. Lots of that." I looked around to make sure no one was in earshot before whispering, "and I may or may not have performed a striptease to _Lola._"

Jasper broke up laughing and smacked me hard on the ass.

"Ow!" I jumped as I yelped, probably drawing a lot of unwanted attention to myself. I didn't dare glance around to check. "Be gentle. My nether regions are a little sore."

He was laughing so hard that he actually snorted. "Oh, Ding Dong, _The Kinks_? That's classy. Did you trip on your panties or get your bra caught around your neck?"

"No, I did _not_!" I punctuated my denial with a cheap shot to Jasper's right kidney.

"Ah!" he squeaked.

"Oh, quit your whining, you've got another one."

"One that you might someday need and I won't be able to give it to you because of the horrible damage you've inflicted on my spare."

"In what universe would your kidney fit into me?" I scoffed.

"I dunno, why don't you go ask Edward? He seems to know what fits into you."

My second punch to Jasper's kidney shut him up mid-guffaw.

"Fuck, Bella! All the sarcophagi lifting has made you strong. I think my kidney is bleeding."

"_Good_. Asshole."

He grinned widely. "I love you."

"Love you too."

A man in a navy blue suit called us to order so we could begin the rehearsal. I grasped Jasper's hand and we went to stand up front.

~*~

The rehearsal went off without a hitch, other than a few well-placed comments by Emmett about Alice's diminutive size and Jasper's virility. He was quickly shut up by a single look from scary Esme.

Rosalie and the Blondsis – Tanya, Irina and Kate – were standing up with Alice, with myself, Edward, Emmett and three of mine and Jasper's friends from college on Jasper's side. I was the odd woman out, as usual.

When we'd finished practising the ceremony and readings, Rosalie and I stepped forward to walk down the aisle behind the soon-to-be Whitlocks. Next in line were Edward and Tanya; I cringed internally as she shot me a smug look and grinned over at him.

Alice turned around. "No, no! Rose, Bella, go back up. That's not right." She left Jasper in the aisle and came towards us. "We have an extra guy for a reason." She pulled Edward over and linked our arms. "Jasper's orders," she whispered in my ear. She gave us a forceful shove that made me stumble on the steps.

Edward held me up, chuckling. "Told you she was freakishly strong."

We caught up with Jasper on our walk down the aisle; Alice was still organising the other couples. He made a silly face at me and I stomped on his foot.

Edward and I were still laughing when we reached the end, turning around to see Emmett and Rosalie and Peter and Tanya closing the distance between us. Tanya was giving me a death glare.

Her problem with me very obviously had something to do with Edward – but I had no idea what. She had been introduced to me as a cousin, so it couldn't be that she had any interest in him or was his ex or anything. I was very confused and becoming increasingly paranoid. Maybe it didn't have anything to do with Edward; maybe I'd said or done something to offend her. Her treatment of me stirred up uncomfortable feelings that I couldn't quite place.

Rosalie saw the look that passed between Tanya and I. She rolled her eyes and shook her head slightly from side to side. She knew something, and I wanted to know what that something was.

~*~

I cornered her in the ladies room after we'd arrived at the restaurant for the rehearsal dinner. "All right, spill. What's Tanya's problem with me?"

She paused in her primping and eyed me in the mirror. "Haven't you guessed? She wants Edward. Has for years. And he, well, quite obviously has a thing for _you_."

"But aren't they cousins?" I could see my reflection's face screwed up in disgust.

Rosalie laughed. "They aren't literal cousins – the Cullens just refer to them as such because they've been close family friends for so long." She pulled a tube of gloss out of her bag. "And you'll notice that neither Tanya or Irina ever call themselves that," she added with a roll of her china blue eyes.

"Has anything ever... I guess it's not really any of my business." And I wasn't sure if I even wanted to know. In light of this new evidence, I realised that Tanya's reactions reminded me of Todd's wife, and that brought forth a wave of bad memories and feelings of self-recrimination and guilt.

"The way Edward has been mooning over you? It most certainly _is_ your business. But no, I don't believe anything has ever happened. He's not the type to love and leave."

"But he knows?"

She threw back her head and laughed her tinkling laugh. "Oh, yes. Subtlety is not exactly Tanya's strong suit. She once 'lost' her bikini top when we were all vacationing in Hawaii – Edward handed it back to her without even so much as a glance at her very ample chest. She was seething about it for days; it was hilarious."

I smirked evilly, remembering Edward's very different reaction to seeing _my_ chest the night before.

"It's kind of Alice's fault that she's targeting you, but she would have caught on sooner or later anyway. Especially after he carried you to his bed the other night. Subtlety is not Edward's strong suit either."

"What did Alice do?"

"When we were at All American Beef – I'm not sure where you were – she may have mentioned that Edward was falling head over heels for you, and that her and Jasper couldn't be more thrilled."

_Falling head over heels? Was he? Was I? _

"And why does Alice think that?"

"Because he _told_ her, Bella. Seriously? Edward doesn't take his eyes off you. He absorbs your every word and action like a sponge. And that man pays no attention to women, not in that way, not ever. I thought he might be gay until I saw him watching you eat at Esme and Carlisle's. It was like you were taking your clothes off rather than nibbling on a piece of bread, the way he was staring."

I cleared my throat and averted my eyes. Hell, I was avoiding my own eyes in the mirror, and when you can't even look yourself in the eye, that's pretty bad.

"Anyway, ignore Tanya. Irina pulled that shit on me when I first started dating Emmett. I stood firm, and now she knows if she so much as looks at him the wrong way, I'll cut a bitch. She stays away."

Rosalie finished applying her lipgloss and tossed it into her purse. "He's yours for the taking, Bella. All you need to do is close your hands." She snapped her clutch shut with a smirk and sauntered out of the room, leaving me alone and feeling overwhelmed. Overwhelmed, did I say? All right, I was downright panicked.

Did I want this? The real question was, could I even have it? Or was I too neurotic to form a proper, healthy, adult relationship?

After several moments of indecisive and self-deprecating thought, there was a knock at the door.

Edward poked his head in when I didn't answer. "Bella? Anyone else in there?"

I shook my head and he came in the rest of the way. "Rose said you were in here. What's wrong?"

_What's wrong? You told your sister that you're falling in love with me, and your "cousin" is making me feel like a dirty whore for being with you, just like my ex's wife once did. And I still want to jump on you and run my tongue all over your body. I am quite obviously disturbed, which you will come to realise sooner rather than later, seeing as you're a shrink. _

But of course I didn't say any of that, instead I got my back up and went on the defensive. "Why didn't you tell me the reason Tanya is being so nasty to me?"

He looked taken aback. "What?"

"Don't play dumb. She's defending her territory."

"I'm hardly her --"

"Have the two of you ever fucked?" I asked harshly.

He looked like I'd slapped him. "No, of course not. Look – she lets me know that she's interested and I make it very clear that I do not return that interest. End of story. Nothing has or will ever happen. I don't understand why you're so angry with me."

"I'm sorry," I mumbled, my eyes fixed on the door over his shoulder. "We'd better get back out there."

He nodded and followed me out of the room.

I took my seat next to Jasper and Edward sat down stiffly beside me. Neither of us spoke or made eye contact throughout the meal. I kept my eyes on my plate until it was time for the speeches. Alice jumped up first.

"Jasper and I would like to thank you all for being here today. We're so glad to have all of our dearest family and friends in town to celebrate with us. Thanks to the boys – Peter, Alex and Dave – for flying in from out west, and our beloved cousins from Alaska for making it here as well.

"And Bella – there wouldn't have been a wedding at all had you not agreed to stand up with our Jasper. He warned me – 'Alice,' he said, 'I can't get married without my Ding Dong' – and here you are, supporting him as you always have. Over the last days I've certainly come to see why you are so special to him, and I can't wait to meet the rest of your family tomorrow!"

Wait, _what_? What rest of my family? Besides Jazz there was only Charlie and Renee... Oh no. Please no. I looked over at Jasper, but he was studiously ignoring me and listening as Alice continued to speak.

After she'd thanked Rosalie, her brothers and both sets of parents, she sat down and Carlisle rose from his seat.

I caught Jasper's eye. "My parents?" I mouthed. He nodded once, chewing his lip. I felt like I was going to cry. "Later," I whispered threateningly. He nodded once more and looked towards Carlisle.

After dessert was served and devoured, I pulled Jasper out on the balcony.

"They're coming?"

"Bella, of course they are. I couldn't get married and not invite your folks. Your parents are like _my_ parents, remember?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because it would have scared you off, honey, you know that. And Bell, I _need _you. Just like Alice said, I couldn't get hitched without you." He had tears shining in his eyes. "I'm sorry for not telling you, but I need you, Bella."

I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my face against his chest. "How am I going to face them, Jazz?"

"Face them? Bella, they're your parents. And they're so excited to see you. You have no reason to be uncomfortable about it."

"Yes I do."

"You have to stop living with the fear that they're going to find out what happened. They can't see it spelled out magically across your forehead you know."

"What, 'I'm a home wrecking slut'? It sure feels like it."

"You are not." He pulled me back and leaned down to my level to look me in the eye. "Bella, you had no idea. You've got to stop feeling guilty. You trusted him and he hurt you. You did nothing wrong."

"I should've listened to you," I whispered. "I knew you would never steer me wrong, but I ignored you. And then you were the one who had to deal with the aftermath."

"Hey, that's all water under the bridge, okay? I certainly don't look at it that way, so you shouldn't either. Look forward, Ding Dong, not back."

I nodded my head and he pulled me into a tight hug, kissing my hair.

"And since we're being so open and honest with each other, I have one more confession."

When I glanced up at him he looked worried. "What now, Jazz?" I moaned.

"Um... your dad... he's bringing Jacob as his plus one."

"Jesus fucking Christ!"

"Sorry! Not my idea!" He held up his hands and waved them back and forth.

"That's just fucking perfect."

"Bella, just make it clear to the both of them that you're interested in Edward right from the get go, right? They'll back off."

I flinched. I didn't know if I wanted to go there, or if I even could any longer after the crap I'd just pulled in the ladies room.

"What now? Don't try and pretend you aren't, Bella. You may be able to lie to yourself, but you can't lie to me."

"Jazz, I can't talk about this right now, okay? I need to go; I'm fucking exhausted. And you – you have guests."

"Bell --" he began, but I cut him off.

"Rosalie and Emmett are heading back to the house; I'll go with them."

"But Edward --"

"Tell Edward that I'm upset about your scheming and worried about seeing Charlie and Renee. It's the truth anyway."

"Only not the whole truth," he sighed.

"I'll see you in the morning, Jazzy. Don't stay up too late. Come and find me if you can't sleep. We can snuggle and gorge ourselves on Milk Duds, just like old times."

I tried to make it seem convincing as I gave him one last smile before going to find Emmett and Rosalie.

All the way home in the Jeep, Emmett regaled his wife with tales of our strip club shenanigans and I forced myself to laugh along with them. But my mind was still back at the restaurant with Edward.

Would he be angry that I'd left without saying goodbye? It was such a bitchy thing to do -- I was behaving like some prickish guy after a one night stand. And the worst thing was, I _really_ liked Edward. I wanted him with me right now, while I was quaking in fear at having to see my parents for the first time in five years.

I wanted him – and it scared the bejesus out of me.

**~*~**

**Oops, apparently Jasper was right about Bella. Please let me know what you think! **


	8. The Big Day

**Thanks to Citikitti for being my beta and to all of you who have left me such sweet reviews – I really appreciate it. **

**SMeyer owns Twilight.**

**~*~**

Chapter 8 – The Big Day

_Edward_

Why hadn't I listened to Jasper? He'd warned me; he'd told me not to expect too much too soon. Just because things seemed fine on the surface didn't mean they weren't turbulent underneath.

After Bella left without a word, Jasper approached me to let me know that she'd asked him to say her goodbyes, and that she was pissed at him for not telling her that her parents were coming tomorrow. He didn't seem completely sincere, but he was obviously upset so I didn't press him.

I went back to my condo for the night rather than returning to my parents' house where Bella was. I didn't want her to feel smothered by me, and she and Jasper obviously needed time alone to talk. But no matter how I tried, I couldn't keep my mind off of her – my room still held her presence, my sheets smelled of her skin.

A very few hours of sleep later, I got up and headed to the house to get ready for the wedding. Alice and her bridesmaids had stayed at the hotel and were dressing there.

The house was eerily quiet and I was beginning to worry that everyone had overslept, when I saw Bella and Jasper outside by the pool. They hugged briefly and he kissed her on the forehead before returning inside. Bella stayed out back, staring at the water.

"Hey man," he greeted me, then gave me a pitying look when he saw that I was watching Bella out the window. "She can be a little neurotic. She's been dealing with shit too advanced for her age since birth," he defended her. "Then I go and keep things from her when I'm the only one she's ever really trusted." He sighed forlornly. "And she _still_ manages to find a way to blame it on herself...."

Jasper looked towards Bella again and shook his head. "I'd give you advice, but, well, I don't feel particularly able or worthy at the moment." He clapped me on the back and headed for the stairs.

I looked back out the window to where Bella was now seated on a lounger.

_Leave her alone. She'll come to you when she's ready. And if she doesn't, that's her prerogative. _I paced for a moment, running my hands through my hair. _Fuck it. _I would never be able to concentrate today if I didn't speak with her.

She looked up as I walked outside, and then quickly focused her gaze back on the pool.

_Shit. I shouldn't have come out._ But if I went back in I would look like an indecisive fool, which was exactly what I was, but I didn't want _her_ to know that. I took a deep breath and crossed the distance between us.

I took the seat next to her and we sat in silence for what felt like hours before I finally plucked up the courage to speak.

"Bella, please talk to me. Did I do something? Did I take it too far?"

Her eyes met mine at last; they were red and swollen from crying. "No," she rasped before clearing her throat. "You didn't do anything. It's all me." She shook her head and tried to smile. "I told you – I'm a great big mess."

"You aren't. Something set you off last night. Something _scared_ you. Everything was fine, and then... Please don't say it's actually because of Tanya. She's never been anything but family to me, like an annoying relative who you feel you're required to see, though you'd rather avoid..." God, I was rambling.

She mercifully cut me off. "It's not really that. It's just... It's the way she looks at me, like I've been messing with her property, it's just like..."

_Ah_. "The professor's wife," I finished quietly.

She fixed her eyes on her own hands and nodded.

"Bella, that wasn't your fault, you know."

"I know." I barely heard her.

"You may _know_, but you don't truly believe it. Is that what this is all about?"

She looked up at me again. "No, it's been bothering me, but... Rose said something last night. She told me that Alice said you..." She trailed off and turned her head towards the pool. I didn't need her to finish the thought. I knew what came next.

_Shit. _Why had I gone and run my mouth off to Alice? She'd asked me what I thought of Bella, and when I'd hesitated she'd given me that_ look_ – the look that she gets when she wants you to spill your guts. And spill I had. My sister should have been the psychiatrist in the family, the way she could read people and convince them to tell her whatever she wanted.

"Alice has a big mouth," I said with a sigh. "Bella, please don't be frightened off. I'll, I don't know, back off if you don't want..."

She shook her head. "Edward – "

"I mean, I can tone it down. We don't have to..."

"Edward – "

"It can be whatever you're comfortable with. I'm not trying to rush you. Whatever you want, I – "

Bella made an annoyed growling sound and shut me up with her mouth. I hadn't even noticed her get up out of her chair.

She pulled back before I had a chance to respond to the kiss, her hands clutching either side of my face. "I want _this_," she whispered, and placed one soft kiss on my lips. She climbed into my lap and clasped my arms, wrapping them around her and snuggling into my chest. "And I want this. Beyond that, I have no idea. I've never had anything more."

I wanted to give her this and so much more, but I decided it would be wise to keep those thoughts to myself for the time being.

~*~

We changed into our tuxedos -- and Bella into her gorgeous dress – and had a ridiculous amount of photos taken. Jasper and Bella were in much better spirits as they posed and joked around. I hated leaving when it came time for my father, Emmett and I to head to the hotel to have family portraits taken with Mom and Alice.

"Don't my big brothers clean up well," Alice teased when she saw us. She looked beautiful; she was positively glowing without a single nerve in sight. She cornered me while the photographer's assistant was setting up an extra light.

"How's Jasper? Is the tux okay?"

"Jasper is great and looks very dashing. He and Bella were playing poker with the guys when we left."

Alice crinkled her nose at the word "poker". "And Bella? How does she look in the dress?"

There were no words. "Divine," I said quietly, my eyes glazed and my thoughts far away.

Alice giggled. "Oh, you two are so cute," she gushed.

Thankfully, the photographer called us over before she could say any more.

~*~

Bella and the guys were supposed to be arriving at the hotel by 1:30; the wedding was set to begin one hour later.

I found Bella alone in a small dressing room when I finally escaped the photographer's clutches at a quarter till two. She was standing against the far wall, her arms wrapped tightly around her tiny frame as if they were the only thing holding her together.

"You all right?" I asked her.

"Um..." she laughed. "Jasper is the one getting married, and I'm the one who's shaking like a leaf."

I moved towards her and reached out to take her in my arms, but she shook her head from side to side. My heart fell. Had she changed her mind?

Her eyes widened and her face took on a commiserative expression. I must have looked pathetic. "I'll get make-up all over your suit, and then Alice will kill the both of us."

That was as good an excuse as any. "Right." I sat down in one of the low chairs and looked away from her. She shouldn't be made to feel guilty if she'd changed her mind.

She would be gone soon, and I would get over it. _Gone_. The thought caused me physical pain.

I felt a soft touch on my shoulder and looked up; Bella was standing in front of me with a fistful of Kleenex.

With a smile, she began covering my suit front and tucking the Kleenex into the collar of my shirt like a bib. I chuckled. Bella climbed into my lap and rested her head against my Kleenexed chest. I wrapped my arms around her and leaned my head against the top of hers.

"Mmm... better. No more shaking." She snuggled in further, unknowingly grinding her ass against me in the process. Fuck, not _now_. Hopefully she wouldn't notice.

She angled her body towards my chest and giggled. "Well, hello there." Oh, she had noticed

I groaned. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry," she said in a breathy voice, while sliding her hand slowly down my torso until she reached the waistband of my tuxedo pants. She toyed with the clasp, appearing to ponder something.

"Edward – what are your thoughts on the best man getting one of the groomsmen off before the wedding? Tacky?"

I threw my head against the wall behind me with a groan as she cupped me through my pants. She was a demon. I lifted my head and looked her in the eye. She was wearing the naughtiest, most delicious smirk.

"I've heard it's considered good luck in some cultures, actually," I attempted to tease, but my voice did not sound the least bit teasing.

"I believe I've heard that somewhere during my travels." Bella's voice didn't sound like _she_ was teasing either. She deftly unhooked the metal clasp of my pants and brought down my zipper, then shoved her hand into my underwear.

She turned her face up at the exact moment I brought mine down and our mouths crashed together, our teeth clacking painfully. We both laughed, but Bella shut me up with a quick squeeze.

"Now what exactly are you two up to in here?" Emmett. _Fuck_. Bella froze mid-stroke. Why the hell wasn't she taking her hand out of my pants? Neither of us said a word.

Emmett laughed loudly. "You're going to mess up your monkey suit there, bro. Or should I say Bella's going to." He snickered.

_Get out!_ Why the fuck was he still standing there? "Here." He took something out of his pocket and tossed it at us. The object hit Bella on the shoulder and ricocheted onto the floor. _A condom_. "For household spills." Emmett cracked up at his own stupid joke.

Bella came out of her stupor at last, but she still didn't let go of my dick. "I know I'm probably going to regret asking this, but, Emmett, why do you have a condom in the pocket of your tux?"

"Rosie gets frisky at weddings," he replied with a wink. "Guess she's not the only one." He was laughing as he left the room, the door clicking shut behind him.

Now_ she pulls her hand out._ "Sorry," Bella muttered. "I don't think I can –"

"Emmett is kind of a mood killer," I agreed.

She grinned in response and slid from my lap. I pulled the Kleenex out of my shirt and re-hooked my pants.

"We should go and find Jazz anyway. I'm supposed to be being supportive and whatnot."

"Right."

"Continue this later?" She raised an eyebrow and bit her full bottom lip.

"Definitely."

Bella shot me a grin before sweeping through the door. I stood for a moment, indecisive, then bent over and retrieved the fallen condom and pocketed it. Emmett may have been a pain in the ass, but he _was_ always thinking.

~*~

We walked into the back room to find a very pale and pacing Jasper.

"You okay, Jazzy?" Bella asked, full of concern. She walked over to him and took both of his hands in hers.

He nodded, but he certainly did not _look_ okay.

"You don't look okay, babe. Come on, focus on my eyes," she coaxed. "That's right. Now, picture Alice; concentrate on Alice."

A small, contented smile spread slowly across Jasper's face.

"Better?"

He nodded again, and this time I actually believed him. They leaned towards one another and rubbed noses.

"Bella, you smell like a man," Jasper complained. _Oops._

"Er... of course I do. I'm the best man; I had to smell the part, right?"

Jasper raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

"All right, you caught me. I was just making out with Edward in the broom closet, okay?"

Jasper laughed; the colour was returning to his face. Bella gave me a conspiratorial wink. _Mission accomplished_. She was good.

I left Bella and Jasper in order to carry out my ushering duties – though there were so many of us there wasn't much to do – and didn't see them again until it was time to begin. They walked swiftly up the aisle and took their places on the platform up front.

~*~

The wedding was beautiful. Alice cried, Jasper cried, Bella cried – I even caught Emmett wiping a hand across his eyes. ("What?" he mouthed. "That's our little sister!") Bella kept a steady hand on Jasper's back throughout the ceremony and rubbed it back and forth whenever his voice hitched or he looked a little unsteady on his feet. How many best men would do that?

Alice and Jasper were pronounced man and wife and they walked back down the aisle to the sound of rousing applause. Bella slid her arm through mine and gave me a wide, jubilant grin, and we set off after them.

I met both of Bella's parents in the receiving line. Her mother gave me a quick hug and hurried on to see her daughter. They held each other, rocking to and fro for a full minute; when they broke apart they both had tears in their eyes. Despite all of Bella's protesting, I could tell she was happy to see her mother. Renee continued down the line, promising to speak with Bella soon.

Charlie Swan eyed me speculatively when Bella introduced us. He must have noticed that she hadn't introduced me to any of the guests that came before him. With him was a tall, muscular guy who squeezed my hand with more force than was necessary when we shook. He held onto Bella a little too long for my liking.

"You remember how I told you Charlie's been trying to set me up with his friend's son?" Bella whispered to me when they had gone. "Well that was him. Jacob." Her face had "help me" written all over it.

Oh, I would help, alright. I would have no trouble dashing the guy's hopes and sending him packing.

I felt his eyes on me as I sat laughing along with Bella at the head table. I met his gaze for a moment, then deliberately ran my fingertips over Bella's jaw and through the wispy hair at the back of her neck. Her hair was up, and that smooth, uncharted skin had been taunting me all day. She smiled demurely at me and I promptly forgot all about Jacob.

My Uncle Eleasar clinked his glass to call us all to attention so that he could introduce Rosalie, who was beginning the speeches.

Rose told some amusing tales of her and Alice's time at college and how my sister just couldn't wait for Thanksgiving break their first year, because she had been bound and determined to set Rose up with her older brother. My family all laughed at the in-joke – the brother Alice had meant to set her up with was me. But Emmett had picked them up at the airport, and he and Rosalie had been inseparable ever since. It still amused me that Alice, who always knew the rest of us better than we knew ourselves, had ever thought that Rosalie and I would make a good couple.

When Rose was finished her toast, Eleasar introduced Bella, whom he referred to as Jasper's lifelong friend, the best woman – that was a statement I could certainly get behind.

Bella wobbled nervously to her feet, and I placed a hand on the small of her back to steady her. "Thank you, Edward," she said, forgetting that she was holding a microphone. She turned red as the wedding guests laughed.

She cleared her throat. "I always have been a little unsteady on my feet," she joked, before looking down at Jasper.

"Jasper, Jasper, Jasper," she said, shaking her head. "I came here fully intending to tell all manner of mortifying anecdotes about our nearly three decades together, determined to make you squirm to the best of my ability. But I guess I've mellowed with age, or perhaps I'm simply worried that you'll repay the favour one day when you're my maid of honour." The room erupted with laughter. "I promise not to go for a floral print for your gown," she reassured Jasper with a quick wink.

"Jazz, my dearest friend, you know how much I love and adore you, and how your friendship has meant everything to me for as long as I can remember – so today, I've decided, I'm going to talk about _Alice_."

My sister bounced up and down in her seat and everyone began laughing anew.

"_Alice_ – I was terrified of you before we met, I must admit. Your legendary perfection made me nervous – and truthfully, it also made me fear for Jasper's sanity for a while there. But I have found you to be every bit as lovely, kind, compassionate and fragrant as Jasper has rhapsodised. Yes, _fragrant_... We'll get to that in a bit." Jasper covered his face as the room filled with another chorus of laughter.

"I love you, Alice. _Already_, I love you. Poor, smitten Jasper didn't stand a chance. And the rest of the Cullen family – you are all as equally wonderful as your Alice. Thank you for making me feel _so_ welcome these past weeks."

Away down the table, Tanya snorted derisively and Alice glared daggers at her.

"Take care of my Jasper; he needs a lot of TLC." She glanced around at my assembled family with a smile. "And now... _fragrant_." Bella tapped her finger on her chin, pondering exaggeratedly. "Hmm... Was it lilac or apple blossoms, Jazz? I seem to have forgotten." Jasper's face turned pink and he chuckled into his hands.

Bella lifted her champagne flute. "To Alice and Jasper. Proof that there _is_ such a thing as love at first scent... I mean, sight." She threw Jasper a wink and we drank to the bride and groom. Both Jasper and Alice embraced her in turn.

~*~

After dancing one song with Alice, I went in search of Bella. She had been attempting to dodge me ever since the music had begun. I had no idea why – she'd danced with Jasper without any stepped-on toes or other such mishaps.

I found her standing with her father and that Jacob guy. It sounded as if they were bullying her into dancing with _him_.

"My dance card is full," Bella was saying. "Meaning I wrote my own name in every spot to get out of dancing with _anyone_."

Just as the muscled brute was about to protest, I sidled up behind Bella and wrapped my arms around her. Who cared if her father was there? She was a grown woman and she'd told me herself that she was tired of his treating her like a child.

"You're going to dance with _me_, aren't you?" I said in a loud whisper, making sure they heard me.

"Mmm... No." She grinned over her shoulder at me. "_Very_ tempting, but I'll crush your toes into oblivion."

She wasn't getting out of it that easily. Besides, I wanted her away from that _Jacob_. I turned her around and pulled her up onto my feet, then waltzed her away as she laughed.

After several dances she escaped me and headed for the ladies room. When I hadn't seen her in a good half hour, I went in search of her again.

I was walking by an open door when I heard her voice coming from one of the balconies. She sounded exasperated.

"Why did you even come? It's not like you've ever gotten along with Jasper."

"You know I came for you, Bella," Jacob answered. I clenched my fists and my jaw. The gentlemanly part of me was telling me to go, but my gut instincts wouldn't allow it.

Bella made a grumbling sound and I smiled. "If I've told you once I've told you a thousand times – I see you as nothing more than a friend, Jake, and that is _not_ going to change."

"How do you know, when you've never given me a chance?" His voice took on a petulant tone. Bella remained silent. "Is it because of that rich pretty boy in there? How can _he_ be your type? You've never been the kind of girl who cares about stuff like that."

I clenched my fists more tightly. That little fucker. How dare he?

"You don't know anything about him!" Bella scolded angrily. "Quit being so fucking judgemental! And no, it has nothing to do with him. It has to do with _me._ I'm _not_ interested!"

"Well, you don't know what you're missing if you've never had it," Jacob said cockily.

That did it.

I stepped out onto the balcony, and the fucker had his filthy mouth pressed against Bella's. He was kissing her. And she was... struggling?

"Hey!" I yelled. "What in the fuck do you think you're doing?!"

He pulled away from her with a smug look on his face. I went at him, ready to punch it off. But Bella was backing away from him and towards _me_, like she wanted me to protect her. And she was more important to me than beating his face in. She was wiping at her mouth, looking disgusted.

"No means no, _Jacob_," I growled warningly.

He smirked at me. "See ya, Bells. You know where to find me when you realise you want more," he taunted her.

I made to advance, but Bella was closer and got there first. Her fist slammed into his gut with a sickening thwack.

I followed her back into the reception hall, laughing over my shoulder at Jacob. He was doubled over and gasping for breath.

Bella never stopped until she'd reached the bar, where she shot back a glass of whisky with a grimace. "Disinfectant," she muttered. "Do you think it would be rude of us to retire to our rooms early? Because I really want to get out of here."

"Not at all. I'm certainly game for leaving early."

"Good," she answered with a wink and smack to my behind. "We have something to finish, I believe."


	9. All Good Things

**I do not own Twilight. Thanks to Citikitti once again. **

**~*~  
**

Chapter 9 – All Good Things...

_Bella_

Fucking Jacob. Fucking Charlie. The only one _not_ pissing me off, surprisingly enough, was Renee, though she _had_ made a few offhand comments about it being time I thought about settling down. _What the ever-loving fuck?_ She'd expressly told me all of my life _not_ to get married, and now she was a goddamn marriage advocate? She was nuts! They all were. No wonder I turned out to be such a basket case.

Edward was accosted by _his_ mother on our way to the elevators. I stayed in the hallway to wait for him; I didn't want to run into any of my family again that night.

Kate approached on her way from the ladies room, the two Evil Slut Sisters trailing behind. "Hey, Bella!" she said brightly. "What are you doing out here?"

"Being a wallflower," Tanya muttered under her breath.

_Just waiting to fuck Edward_. It was _so_ tempting...

"Just waiting for Edward," I answered instead, my voice sickeningly saccharine.

"Oh, are you guys finished partying all ready?"

I couldn't keep the naughty smile off my face. "Not really. We were just going to take it upstairs." I motioned to the elevators. "But Esme needed him for something."

"Yeah, she needed to get him away from _you_," Tanya muttered under her breath again. Irina snickered.

Fucking bitches. I was so sick of her crap. Was she so delusional that she actually thought Edward was going to wake up one morning and suddenly be madly in love with her after years of spurning her advances? Unfortunately for her, there were no such things as love potions.

"What precisely is your problem?" I snapped at her. I'd had enough. "What exactly have _I_ done to offend _you_?"

She scrunched up her face as if she'd smelled something bad. "Edward. Edward's my problem," she spat.

I played dumb. "Why would Edward be your problem? He's lovely."

She gave Irina a look before refocusing her hateful gaze on me. "You think you're so entitled."

It was my turn to make a face. "Entitled to _what_?"

Instantly Tanya looked livid, her normally pale face flushed with anger, her eyes narrowed into slits. She spoke quickly and angrily, like she'd been dying to scream her little prepared speech into my face for days. "Our parents have wanted us to end up together since we were children; they've been _waiting_ to see us together. And _you_ think you can just waltz in here, with your drab hair and your fancy PhD, and he's _yours_?"

I burst out laughing. Tanya really was too much. "Your parents, you say? Yes, they must pray for your eventual marriage, seeing as they refer to the two of you as _cousins_. Sounds like a match made in heaven... or Alabama."

"You little bitch! Edward is _mine_!"

I raised my eyebrows. This girl was clearly unhinged.

"Is Edward aware of this? Maybe we should go and ask him if he's ever legally signed his person over to you." _Alice_. And she sounded _pissed_. I'd never before seen Alice in this bad a temper, and it was truly a frightening sight to behold. All of my favourite Cullens were coming to my rescue tonight. But this time if there was going to be any punching, I would leave it to the Cullen in question.

"Alice," Tanya said with a phony smile. Her voice had done a complete 180. Talk about Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

"Cut the sweet act, Tanya. I heard you. Not that I would be convinced otherwise. I know what you really are, and so do Mom and Dad. As if they would ever want Edward with _you_! I have no clue who put those thoughts into your tiny brain."

Tanya feigned hurt. "Alice, why would you say that? Has _she_ said something to turn you against me?"

Alice snorted. "No Tanya, you did that all on your own. I was four, and you tried to bleach the hair of all my brunette dolls. It all disintegrated, remember? Yeah, it's been _that_ long since I liked you."

Tanya floundered and I burst out laughing at the mental image Alice's story had conjured. That's when Edward arrived back on the scene.

"Sorry, Bella," he said. "Mom wanted me to carry some flowers out to Aunt Helen's car." He stopped abruptly, taking in all of the tense faces surrounding him. "Um... you guys okay?"

"Just peachy," Tanya cut in, her voice falsely sweet again. Dr. Jekyll was back. "Edward – I was wondering if we could grab a drink. I'm heading home to Alaska soon, and we've hardly seen each other." Her lip stuck out in an exaggerated pout.

This was it. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop, for Edward to realise she was prettier than I was, or that he liked psychos better than the milder sort of head-cases like me. Though the rational part of my brain knew that I was being ridiculous, I couldn't even look in his direction.

"No, sorry. I was just leaving with Bella," he said. I felt his fingers wrap around mine. I managed to look him in the eye just as he was pressing a soft kiss to my hand.

Alice's eyes were nearly as wide as her smile; Kate was trying unsuccessfully to cover her laugh with a cough, and Tanya and Irina were fuming – I could almost see the steam pouring out of their ears.

"Yes, we _should_ really be going," I added sweetly. "After all, I have to be up early to wash my poor, drab hair." And with that, I pulled Edward toward the elevators before anyone could have a chance to answer.

"What was _that_ about?" he asked, confused. "You have gorgeous hair."

"Nothing," I laughed. "Nothing at all."

Edward was smiling impishly as we got on the elevator. "What's that about?" I copied his words, running my finger over his upturned lips. The elevator doors slid closed.

"Hmm... Well, I know the walls aren't glass, but we _are_ in an elevator." He threaded his fingers into my hair, pulling a few strands down from the clips, and leaned over to run those smiling lips over my throat and around the back of my neck. "Mmm..." he moaned contentedly, like he'd tasted something delicious.

By the time he'd gotten to my mouth, I was gasping. I threaded my fingers through _his_ hair, and pushed our mouths together more forcefully. There was no time for this slow, seductive bullshit. We were in a freaking elevator! I pushed my tongue into his mouth and used my hands to guide him around, then shoved him against the wall. I hitched my leg up around his hip and began working on his fly.

Edward pulled his mouth away and gasped, cursing under his breath. I felt his hands trying to slide the silky fabric of my dress up my legs, but he was having difficulty – the dress was too long for him to reach the hemline standing up like we were.

"Don't worry about it," I breathed against the skin of his throat. "No time." He threw his head back against the wall to give me better access. I pulled myself closer to him, grinding against his erection.

There was an exaggerated throat clearing sound behind me. I looked up frantically at Edward, dismayed to see that he had that caught-in-the-headlights look in his eyes again. _Oh fuck, please don't let it be Esme._

It was Carlisle. And we were still on the main floor. We'd gotten so caught up in each other that we'd completely forgotten to push a button. Carlisle reached over and pressed his floor number, then after a second of hesitation, Edward's.

I tried to pull away from Edward and straighten my clothing, but the zipper of his pants was caught on the fabric of my dress. We both tugged on it vainly, but it needed to be picked out tooth by tooth. I was worried about ruining Alice's lovely creation with our clumsiness, so I stilled Edward's hands with mine and tried to look well-mannered. How was this possible, being stuck to a guy by the zipper of his trousers, which I had pulled down in my haste to get at his cock? Yeah, it really wasn't. I was deluding myself.

Carlisle hadn't removed his gaze from our faces since entering the elevator; his ashen brows were all but lost in his hairline. The expression on his face reminded me so much of his daughter. I came to the realisation that every member of Edward's family had now walked in on us in compromising positions. _Every. Single. One._

I began to laugh. It started out as a little giggle, but soon escalated to a snorting, near-choking, full-blown racket. The kind when you're trying so hard to catch your breath that you end up sounding like a donkey. _Oh yes_. The doctor was regarding me strangely, like he was about to grab me around the middle and perform the Heimlich.

I took a deep breath and a little giggle escaped. I clapped both hands over my mouth to keep any more of those traitorous fuckers from getting out. "Sorry," I gasped. "I'm an inappropriate laugher."

_Ding_. The elevator doors opened and Dr. Cullen exited onto his floor. He hadn't uttered a single word.

Edward and I both watched as his father turned the corner, and the second the doors were closed again, our mouths were pressed back together, our tongues seeking each other out. I'd never believed it possible to want someone this badly, to literally crave another person, but I'd been mistaken.

The last two floors passed all too quickly, and we stumbled out into the hall, groping and kissing all the way to Edward's room. He pulled the keycard out of his pocket and slid it through the reader, pressing me against the door to push it open.

~*~

When we woke the next morning, the room was once again littered with condom wrappers.

We made love languidly all morning, not wanting to leave the confines of our warm bed. We were trying to memorise the feel of each other's bodies, the smell, the taste. The thought of being separated had us both in a panic to absorb every small detail.

After I'd rubbed my nose over the perfectly round freckle on Edward's right forearm for the twentieth time, I thought it was time to 'fess up. "Edward?" I whispered.

I was lying on my side with him wrapped around me from behind. He ran his nose over my ear and breathed out. "Mmm?"

"I, um... I thought you should know… I took the teaching position. I called yesterday."

He sucked in a breath. "You did?"

"Yeah."

Edward's arms tightened around me and he began placing adoring kisses on every inch of skin he could reach. _My shoulder_. "Thank you," he whispered. _My forehead._ "Thank you." _The back of my neck._ "Thank you." _My cheek._

"But I still have to go back tonight," I interrupted his kissing me on the back of the arm. "I have to finish my research. I'm under contract until September." He remained silent and didn't resume his kissing. "Wait for me?" My voice shook, uncertain.

He turned me around in his arms. "Forever," he said, kissing me softly.

"I think I'm falling in love with you," fell from my mouth.

I felt him smile. "I've already fallen," he whispered against my lips.

~*~

We drove in silence all the way to the airport. It had been easy saying goodbye to Jasper, knowing I would be seeing him again in two short months, but the thought of being without Edward made me ache. How was it possible that we had only met two weeks ago? How had he become so utterly engrained in my every thought and feeling? Damn perfect Cullens. I sighed.

Edward looked over from the driver's seat and gave me a sad smile. Ugh – how was I going to say goodbye to him?

I found out all too soon – I checked in, got rid of my suitcase, and headed in the direction of security. Edward couldn't come with me through those doors.

I stared at his Adam's apple, gnawing on my lip and trying to swallow the lump in my throat. "Guess this is the end of the road," he said quietly.

I sucked in a breath and threw my arms around his middle, nearing bowling him over. He embraced me in return, resting his chin on the top of my head. "_Bella_." He sounded so sad. A few rogue tears leaked from my eyes.

"We'll see each other again soon," I tried to reassure him. It didn't work so well when my voice was watery and trembling.

He pulled me away from his body and took my face in his hands. His eyes were wet as well. I cried harder, my traitor tears running over his fingers. "I love you, Isabella," he rasped, and pressed his mouth against mine in a firm kiss. "Come back to me soon, okay?"

"Yes," I promised, sealing it with another press of my lips. "Yes."

~*~

My flight to Athens was terrible. I cried, then tried to listen to my iPod, then _The Kinks_ came on and I cried some more. _If Jasper could see me now_, I thought, and laughed through my tears. The stewardess kept coming to check if I needed anything – I think she was afraid I was a candidate for air rage.

One of the research assistants picked me up at the airport, but she wisely kept quiet about my haggard appearance. I had loved Greece since the first moment I'd set foot there at the age of twenty-three, but it no longer held the same feeling for me, the same intrigue. _Two months_. Two months couldn't go by quickly enough.

**~*~**

**One more to go!  
**


	10. Come to Those Who Wait

**Well, this is it. The last chapter. Thanks to everyone who has favourited and put this story on alert, and especially to those who have left feedback in any form. Much love guys! **

**~*~  
**

Chapter 10 – ... Come To Those Who Wait

_Edward_

It was August the thirty-first, and I was once again at Logan Airport with Jasper and Alice waiting for Bella's flight to arrive. I had taken up Jasper's position from two months earlier – now I was the one doing the pacing and checking and rechecking of the arrivals board.

"Why so impatient, Edward?" Alice asked, oozing with false sweetness.

"I do believe young Edward is feeling the pangs of one greatly in need of a little sexual healing," Jasper answered for me. Bella was right; he _was_ a smug bastard.

They snorted in perfect unison. I guess it was true what they say about married couples eventually resembling one another, though Jasper and Alice had begun the downhill journey very quickly. It was easy enough for the two of them to tease me; they had been doing it all over the city. For me, it had been two months. And besides, we all knew that was _not_ the only reason I wanted – _needed_ – Bella.

When I first saw her walk through the gate, I couldn't move. I was completely frozen on the spot, staring at her lovely face which was at that moment looking extremely exasperated as she attempted to stuff both her passport and iPod into her shoulder bag. What if she'd thought everything over and decided that she didn't really like me after all? What if it had been nothing but a fling to her, and she didn't want to see me again? She was Jasper's friend, _his_ family -- not mine, not my anything.

Bella finally managed to stow her things away. She looked up, not seeing us for a moment, but when she caught my eye and smiled, I knew then that everything was going to be okay. It was our turn to make a spectacle of ourselves, running across the crowded terminal and leaping at each other. I didn't give a damn; it felt _wonderful_. I pressed my face into her soft hair and breathed deeply; she still smelled magnificent.

On our way to the parking garage, Jasper's eyes widened in shock and he began making swift spinning gestures with his index finger and motioning towards Bella. When I shrugged my shoulders in confusion, he mouthed, "Turn her around!"

Without knowing the reason, I distracted Bella with a kiss, and pulled her to my opposite side so that she walking next to Alice, who immediately began talking her ear off. Jasper came up beside me.

"That's him," he hissed, pointing away to the left. I craned my neck but all I could see was a middle-aged, intellectual type standing with a cart full of luggage and speaking animatedly on his cell phone.

I shrugged. "Who?"

"Todd Goudry." I was still lost. Jasper sighed and pulled me farther from the girls. "_The_ _Professor_," he muttered angrily.

_That_ was the bastard who'd hurt Bella so badly? That unassuming man was the one who'd singlehandedly broken her spirit? I glared as hard as I could in his direction, wishing wholeheartedly that he could feel it, and that I could do more than simply glare. He paid me no mind, but unfortunately, Bella did.

She stopped in her tracks, her gaze fixed on his pompously clothed, athletic frame. I was terrified that seeing him would set her back, making her avoid all thought of a relationship. It was selfish of me, sure, but it was the first thing that popped into my head. I wouldn't be able to stand it if this miserable excuse for a human being messed up our chances of forming a healthy relationship. God knew he'd certainly managed to do just that to poor Bella her entire adult life thus far.

"Huh," she muttered. She seemed confused. "He's gotten _really_ bald." Bella took my hand in hers and we continued walking the rest of the way to the car. I couldn't keep the goofy, embarrassing grin off my face, and I didn't even care.

_Bella_

The four of us went for dinner at Alice's – and by proxy, Jasper's – favourite restaurant. Edward kept his hand on my thigh beneath the table the entire way through the meal, and every once in awhile he would give me a squeeze or slide his hand back and forth. I pressed my legs together and told myself to be patient. But God, my body could not help but respond to Edward! I wanted to launch myself at him right there in the restaurant and tear at his clothes.

I forced myself to focus back in on Alice and Jasper; she said they had news for us. "Well, the week leading up to the wedding, I kind of forgot to take a bunch of my pills..." Alice admitted with a grin. "And I'm pregnant!"

"Huh?" I answered stupidly.

Edward looked flabbergasted. "Already?"

"Yep!" Alice and Jasper answered in unison. It was creepy.

"_Wow_. Congratulations," Edward said. He got out of his seat and walked around the table to embrace his sister and pat Jasper on the back. "That's wonderful."

They all turned to me, waiting for something. "Yeah. Congrats, guys." I got up from my seat and followed Edward's lead, unsure of what was expected of me. Jasper was having a kid? It was just too weird. He couldn't even keep a plant alive.

"Anyway," Alice continued once Edward and I sat back down, "we were wondering if, well, if the two of you would be our baby's godparents."

_What now?_ As I sat there, stunned and overwhelmed, I heard Edward say, "Of course. Of course I will."

_Me?_ But I was a nutcase. Completely unreliable. You never knew when something might be too much for me, and I'd take off to Egypt or Mongolia, or the Rocky Mountains. I couldn't be trusted.

Fuck, they were all looking at me that way again. "Me? But I'm not..."

"Yes you are," Jasper cut across me. "Bella, if anything ever happens to us, you are the _only_ ones I want raising my children."

I sucked in a breath and tried to calm my breathing. I could do this. "Okay, Jazzy. Okay." Alice and Jasper hugged and thanked us repeatedly. "But guys — " I added, my voice sounding a bit panicked. "Don't let anything happen to you, _ever_. Really."

They all laughed at me – even Edward. Assholes.

After dessert was served, Alice and Jasper became a little too touchy-feely for my liking – though when it came to Alice and Jasper, _any_ amount of touchy-feely was too much. _Ew_. I wasn't surprised when they hurried away from the table together.

I looked toward Edward; he was wearing a disgusted expression that articulated my own feelings perfectly. "They're always doing that. God knows how they're defiling the poor washroom right at this very moment."

"Shh... We mustn't speak of it, lest our dinners come back up before we've even paid for them."

Edward laughed. "Do you think they would still charge us?"

"Likely. Ugh, to think I'm going to have to put up with the two of them going at it like rabbits. She's already knocked up; you think they'd tone it down!"

"Why would you have to put up with them? Just refuse to see them until they learn to control themselves."

"Well, that may be difficult, seeing as I'm staying at their house until I find a place. I shudder to think what I'm going to see and hear." And shudder I did, but from the cold ice cream I was eating, not the disgust of possibly walking in on Alice and Jazz.

"Well, you know, you could always stay with _me_..." I shot him a look. "Or not," he finished.

"All in good time, dear Edward."

I have to confess, I _did_ stay at Edward's that night. And again the following one. And the one after it, too. When I'd been there a week and my underwear was mixed in amongst his in the dresser drawer, I figured, why fight it?

But I didn't give in to him completely – not right away, at least -- though I may have secretly wanted to in my heart of hearts. I got my own apartment, but I still spent most nights at Edward's place, or he at mine. I had myself convinced it was only for the sex, but after term began and I was too exhausted to do more than fall asleep in his arms for a week straight, that theory and all of my protesting flew right out the window.

All of our friends and family thought of us as a unit – we were no longer Edward and Bella, but had at some point become EdwardandBella. When I first noticed the change, I sat and obsessed over its meaning and possible repercussions, waiting for myself to go into an all-too-familiar tailspin and begin packing up all of my possessions -- but I was surprised to find that I sort of _liked_ it. Huh. Maybe I _was_ growing. Maybe I _could_ do this. I even found myself beginning to trust my own instincts when it came to Edward and what he expected of me as far as the "girlfriend" role went. I was no longer floundering and constantly calling Jasper for advice.

And seven months after returning home, by the time Alice and Jasper's first brat had squalled her way into the world, I had even managed to utter that elusive phrase, "_I love you_." Edward responded by asking me to give up my apartment and move in with him.

Without so much as a moment's hesitation, I said yes.

I had a feeling I would be saying "yes" for many years to come – loudly and in great frequency.

~The End~


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